How to move on?

[CandyFIosss]

I have been separated from my ex for 4 years now, it wasn’t a good relationship and I’m glad it’s over; we have children together but he doesn’t see them. Believe me I do not ever want to get back with him again but I’m really struggling to move on as I’ve been single the entire time, no dates, nothing. How do you move on without actually moving on? Is it possible?

That sounds really difficult. I wonder if it might be possible to move on by making your life with your children as happy as possible? You don’t need a relationship after all

By realising that you are complete in yourself. Men are just extra company. Like friends, only with sex. They aren't a requirement for a happy and fulfilled life. Infact, as you've seen already, they often just make life harder.

But I get that not getting out there and dating ect...can make time feel like it is standing still.

If your ex was abusive I think it helps to learn everything you can about how to spot and avoid abusers in future. It can give you the closure about what happened and also make you more confident moving forwards. Speaking to a therapist might also help.

Either way, being free from a shity relationship has to be a good thing. Maybe you need to make your life more of an adventure. Take up some hobbies, join some social groups, maybe take the kids camping. Basically start living life! And if a nice man comes along, great. But if not, who cares!

In what way haven't you moved on? Do you want to go on dates? I waited a couple of years after splitting with my ex. I wasn't at all sure I was ready to start dating, but I forced myself because I think it was really just fear of the unknown holding me back.

I think you have to find happiness in yourself. It doesnt come from a man or a relationship, that is just a bonus.

Can you take up some hobbies or interests. Can you start an online crafting business for example? I know it must be so hard being a single parent and I appreciate you are not getting a break as Dad not involved, but you need some interests for you.

Have you other single friends to go out with on day trips with the kids? Do you have family to look after kids at all so you can go out or have time to yourself?