Difficult unhappy dp

[Tulipsandviolets]

So brief background been with dp 12yrs lived together 8. Ive 2dd from ex. Both late teens 1at home. Dp 49 I'm 3yrs younger.

Dp gets on well with both.
Dp and myself always had a up down r. Ship. I've always had depression but have learned and had help to deal
with it ova the yrs..
I work long hrs in a physically demanding and tiring job. dp works office based high earner stressful responsible position in IT.

He can be lovely and kind or a complete arse at times. Snappy argumentative awkward and sulky.
Gets me down and can be draining. Lost my dm 2yrs ago and have to worry bowt elderly df who's not coping with grief and illness. Feeling teary. dp can be loving but atm
Going thru a stage where we just don't feel close

No cuddling or affection. He moans loads too. Specially covid. Hardly says 2words can sit in silence for ages on fines. . Makes things awkward and long to feel loved and laugh again so stressed down and fed up. Oh to have fun in our life again
Dont no why posting this guess just need to rant. Thanks for listening.

That's a horrible way to live op, walking on eggshells. Do you worry how it's affecting your daughter? I wouldn't have someone like him around my child. What's your housing situation? If he moved out and you continued to see each other and enjoyed time with the 'nice' dp without having to live with the awful one. Though i suspect it's all part of the cycle to keep you on your toes. Google the cycle of abuse to see if it rings any bells.

Snappy argumentative awkward and sulky.
Are you talking about my husband? First of all, I am sorry OP and I know exactly how you feel. I have lived with a person like this for more then two decades. Mind you he was not always awful, but for the last ten years at least, yes. I put up with it for as long as I could and finally called it quits a little less then a month ago. Cannot do it any more, sulking, silent treatments, complaining, negativity, walking on the eggshells, the silences, the grumpiness. I want to be happy, I want to enjoy life, I want to relax in my own home, laugh, sing.... Think about it OP, life is short and you deserve to be happy.