I'm pregnant but my partner doesn't want me to keep it

[Sectikin]

I'm new here but I need advice as I really don't know what to do

I have a 5 month old little boy and yesterday I found out I was pregnant. I don't know how it happened as I'm on the pill and I haven't missed a day. I spoke to partner and he told me he doesn't want another baby yet and that he wanted at least a 2-3 year age gap between our son and another baby. But he said if I want to keep it he'll support me and won't force me to have an abortion.

I don't know what to do as I'm not sure how far along I am but there will only be a 13/14 month age gap between them and I just feel sad that our son won't be getting all our attention when he'll only be little. But part of me wants to keep the baby so I'm just not sure

Of course your son will be getting attention with a new sibling! I have 2 that close together in age and they adore each other. They're so close, if anything it's the greatest gift i could have ever given my first - a little sibling so close in age. If you want to have another baby at some point, don't get an abortion now. The timing is never perfect. Your son will have to share your attention with his sibling regardless of how old he is when they're born, unless you are planning to wait until he's moved out! Please don't abort if you aren't sure. It can really ruin your life - you might never get over it anr end up resenting your partner for it.

This is a tough one, it's your body so of course should ultimately be your decision. It's hard when there are differing views between couples.

Having a sibling that close in age will be amazing, a lot of the siblings I know that are that close in age are very close indeed.

Ah it will be fine if you want a second baby down the line then may as well just have one now! What if you struggle in future to conceive again!!

Obviously your choice though

Your husband is just being honest- but he doesn’t sound horrible - he says he will support you no matter what choice you make! So guess it’s up to you to decide really - it’s just not an ideal situation is it

Would you struggle financially if you have another baby so soon!? We’re you planning on going back to work etc?

Congratulations!!! My big sister is 10 months older than me. We are in our forties now and have always been best friends. X

It'll be fine and actually easier to match activities that they would both like. My youngest two have a similar age gap and they played so well together when they were little.

Congratulations!
There are 17 months between mine and it is hard but they love each other so much.
Your concerns are totally valid and I had the same worries but giving my dd a sibling was the best thing I've ever done for her. It's so nice seeing them together xx

Well that was quick lol. See how you feel but that's a lot to take on !

It'll be great as they will have same interests. Too much attention might be a bad thing. Better to have a great relationship with a sibling. Twins do ok don't they!

In your situation I would probably go ahead as you want more children anyway, he has said he will support you... but it also depends your circumstances too financially if you're able to, if you can still juggle babies and childcare or a sahm then it'll be fine.

Don’t get an abortion if you think you’ll regret it. Good luck with whatever you choose.

My two DDs are very close in age (there is just 13 months between them). They get on brilliantly - they are such good playmates with each other (though they do quarrel from time to time as any siblings do). My EX H said he only wanted one child when I fell pregnant with my second. I continued with the pregnancy and had my little girl and I’m so glad I did.

Its your decision OP
My sibling and I are also 13 months apart and we used to fight like cats and dogs growing up but now as adults we are closer than ever. My absolute bestest friend.
Id be wary though, if your partner said he didnt want another kid right now, he might be laying the groundwork to emotionally or physically retreat when the child is born, after all he DID warn you beforehand.
And "supporting you" could mean anything/nothing. Its quite vague

If you want a second child then sometimes you have to just take them when they come along. It may not be the perfect plan for you both, but I think nothing is perfect.

I'm not sure how he would be able to "force you" - I dont like his words there

Just like he can't force you to have an abortion, you can't force him to want a child he's not ready for. He's said he will support you which is all he can do really. He's left the decision in your court. Make your decision keeping in mind all the pros and cons on going ahead - but mostly, that you need to feel comfortable carrying a bulk of the childcare if your partner finds it too overwhelming. He may step up, he may not - you know him best, how he is coping atm, how you're coping atm and whether you both could comfortably manage a pregnancy and no 2 now.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Closer in age can actually be easier. The first year is the hardest. But they have the same interests, can play and learn together. The nappy stage is all over at the same time.

If you were planning no2 anyway I wouldn't let timing put you off.

Purely going by your OP, it sounds like you are inclined to terminate. If the financial and logistical concerns mean you should wait, then I personally would.

It sounds like your partner is pretty definite that he'd prefer to stop this pregnancy. So you need to take into account that if you do decide to go ahead, your relationship could end. (Of course this is true of any relationship at any time!)

Maybe you could sit down with him and work out together how this would impact your time and finances as a couple, and your career in particular. Unless by "I will support you whatever" he means he'll be the SAHP and you will go back to work?

If you were planning no2 anyway I wouldn't let timing put you off.

Yes, terminating just because the timing is not perfect is probably not for most people.

I think you need to have an honest chat with you husband. For men it can just be like a shopping trip - return this one now and get one later down the line. If you aborted you'd have to deal with the huge emotions that come with that, I know it's not like that for all women, but since you want another baby - and specifically you want this baby - it's not as easy as your husband may think.
If you abort a baby you want because your husband wants you to, you're likely to have a lot of resentment towards him for a long time, and since he does actually want another child soon-ish then it seems to make more sense to have this baby and not risk your mental health and marriage. I agree with everyone above as well, having children close in age is great. My 3rd was the easiest of the lot to look after because the older two were happy playing together.

My 2 youngest are 14 months apart, they were more like twins when they were little, did everything together. They are still very close. Parental love is not finite, you would have enough for both.