I matched with my neighbour on Tinder. His profile said he was a single father – I'm in my mid-30s and don't see children in my future but I'm realistic about dating and understand that if I want to date a man in his late thirties then he's going to have kids. It got intense quickly. We were crazy about each other. We live quite close and he'd text me late at night saying 'I knew you were up because your bedroom light is on.' (Which now seems kind of creepy but at the time seemed like a sign that he felt as strongly as I did.) He introduced me to his daughter, would say 'come over and kiss me' when he was working from home, he invited me on his business trips and sent me lingerie for my birthday.
Of course I googled him. There were pictures of him with his wife and kid on social media but they were from a year before. The recent photos were just him and his daughter. Which fit with what he'd told me. However, there was a time that I was walking down the street. He was walking with his daughter and when he saw me he picked her up and walked very quickly in the opposite direction...which was odd to say the least.
To cut a very long and painful story short. He was still married and I found this out when I saw him in his driveway with his very pregnant wife. Someone congratulated him on Facebook saying that heard he was going to be a daddy again. Sigh.
He and I haven't spoken since I confronted him. He asked me how I expected the affair to continue now that he was 'trapped' in the house with his now extended family. Which missed the point entirely as I did not know I was involved in an affair and he must have been out of his mind if he thought it was going to continue. He said I 'tempted' him away from his family. Which is unfair seeing as he was cruising for casual sex on a dating app...
My question is this: should I tell his wife? She has had the baby. He told me their marriage had broken down because she didn't want to be touched after the baby and made them move to be near her parents so he had to see his in-laws several times a week and never got to see his family. He really seemed to resent her. (It was a red flag but I thought it was typical 'my ex is horrible' talk.) He has a short temper and I've since overheard him shouting at her and their daughter. I know he cheats, I know he lies, I know he's into some really kinky sex.
I've never been married and don't have kids. Maybe she prefers to living in blissful ignorance. Should I tell her?