How do you get over the guilt of introducing terrible men to your kids lives?

[Ostryga]

I bumped into my horrific, abusive ex a couple of days ago. I was waiting for a bus and he stopped at a red light next to me. We caught eyes and dear god I’ve never been so interested in a Bush in my life.

But he met my Dd. He spent time with her and I just watched some videos back of me interacting with her whilst he was there and I honestly hate myself. I was short and snappy and almost like I was putting on a front for him, rather than being actively involved with Dd.

I’m not like it anymore, but I feel this intense guilt that I was doing that to my innocent 3yo because he was there.

I hate myself for letting him in her life, and watching the videos back has just compounded that.

You lived and you learned. Let the guilt go because there's no need for it. Just feel good knowing you'll never make that mistake again.

When we were become parents, we don't (sadly!) become all wise and knowing. We are still human and we make mistakes.

What's more important is to show your dd examples of standing up for yourself. "You remember Bob DD? He wasn't very nice was he. He was very unkind so we won't be seeing him anymore"

Honestly this is more important than anything. It's more valuable than any exam. Learning "I deserve to be treated the same way I treat others" I'd a lifelong lesson that many women in my generation didn't get

Personal guilt is pretty pointless. It's in the past, you have recognised the error and put it right. Time to move on.

OP pat yourself on the back for keeping him away. He's gone. It's over. You live and learn.

How does the guilt help?

Your guilt is about a past you can not change and a way of disengaging from a present and future, where you cat I’ll can.