Kids won't sleep, I need sex!

[yummyhunny]

Kids are 15 and 11, recently 15 year old is up way later than me at night and 11 Yr old is up at 6am. I have needs but worry about the kids hearing me and my husband. At what point do I give in and decide if 15 year old is OK to stay up late, they're OK to hear everything that goes with that? So far it freaks me out even thinking she might hear us, and also totally puts me off, but lately I'm almost beyond caring.... I'm getting grouchy it's been so long!!! What do I do? 11 year old is ASD and things are hard, husband falls asleep on sofa by midnight most nights, I NEED the kids to go to bed before that so we can get some time alone together.

HELP PLEASE! anyone that's been in this (or similar) situation, how do I do this?

If 15 yr old is up late, aren't they sat with their headphones on watching something/gaming? If not, just get on with it but be quiet about it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Half term already. ??

@FinallyFluid Not half term, just since Christmas 15 Yr has decided bedtime is on her terms 🤷.

@Hellcatspangle yes she's up watching streamers and doesn't hear when we call her for things we need (dinner, get ready for bed, all the rest) so it's a good chance she won't hear, however, she hears so much when we think she can't (at dinner when she has earpods in and we're chatting... She suddenly has heard every word 😱)

I get very grump too so I stick my arse in the air and bury my face in the pillow. Muffles my pleading and whimpering. Has to be done.

After the first time they enter without knocking, just as your man is doing similar, trust me they won't do it again.

Husband is older than me and I end up doing bedtime most of the time... Would love nothing better than a bit of pillow biting but.... How do I get to that before husband falls asleep?

😉 Thank you, I do worry about causing trauma but there's only so much I can do

Uhm.. what?Are we assuming a 15yo believes in immaculate conception? They must know how they were "created", so I wouldnt pay it much mind.
Just get on with it before the lack of sex puts dents in your marriage

Put the 11yo old to bed, leave the 15yo to it.
Hopefully you have a lock on your door.

Take DH up to bed. Put on Barry White a bit loud and lock the door.

Surely you just lock the door and be quiet?

Tell your 15 year old to go to bed at a reasonable time because she is 15 and because you need some 'grown up time' (that will be enough to make her hide in her bedroom for the foreseeable) and just do it quietly?

Book the day off work when they are both at school!

I wouldn't expect a 15 year old to have a bed time. Just go to bed when you want to and shut the door. Make that your normal. If you think they might wander in, get a lock.

Unless you’re screaming the place down I’d put a lock on the bedroom door and have quiet sex. I know this as I have a 21 year old and it’s possible

Do it when they are at school. Or lock on door!

You have to be creative.

In the evening when your DD has her headphones on, you and your DH quietly go into the bathroom because he needs help 'shaving his back' or DH is 'giving your hair a trim' and you do it discreetly in there.

I wouldn't want to risk it in the bedroom with DD still awake. Whilst your DD will know by now about sex, she definitely does not need to see anything accidently.

Also I second the idea about booking the day off.

I don't understand what bedtime you're doing? They can take themselves to bed surely? And your bloody husband can make an effort to do something to help if he wants a shag too? I honestly can't see why this is so complicated?

Unless you've got a creaky, squeaky bed, it is 100% possible to have quiet/silent sex.

If the bed is noisy, put the duvet on the floor and do it there.

Either way, get a lock on the door.

This is very easily fixed - "Night kids, we're tired and going to bed:"

Door locked, quiet sex ensues. Entirely possible.

If you're saying you find it impossible not to be noisy during sex and are completely incapable of being quiet, I envy you - I've never had sexTHAT good where I've not been able to control myself and assumed that was just in the movies.

Have you managed to do it yet OP?