Should friendships be this hard?

[justhereforthecraic]

at my age, friendships should be easy going and great, not stressful ! Please someone agree?!?!??!?!

I have a lovely mix of friends, some closer than others but one or two make life so EFFIN difficult

one example with easy going friend, we suggest lunch, agree a time/date, arrive at said time on said date, lovely lunch/chats

next friend, suggests doing something for a birthday, we suggest dinner, she agrees, then turns around and says she is going to do something else, i suggest meeting another time, she avoids question. When she did finally settle an evening to meet, she informed me that she will be leaving early as she plans to visit family....

If i had plans to meet someone, i would not double book myself unless it was something i couldn't avoid e.g GP appointment, picking up kids etc etc

This is more of a rant but i just feel if you wanted to spend time with someone, you wouldn't make life difficult ? Id rather someone just said no straight out than leave me hanging going backwards and forwards

im going to take a step back from said friendship after i see her this week.

Anyone else in the same boat?

You’re right, it shouldn’t be this hard. Back away if it’s stressing you out.

Has she always been like this? The last year has made a lot of people a bit strange so if it’s new maybe cut her some slack.

It says a lot. Don't ask this one friend again, you know how itll go. My sister is like this, agreeing then selfishly changing things around to suit herself, expecting others to slot it. Then being late and hassled.

yeah its been going on for a while now and i agree lockdown has made people strange and it think it has affected her a lot. Hence why i kept going along with it and making sure that she was ok all the time

To be honest , it does stress me out and it makes me not want to make plans with her. She is happy to make plans with other friends but is always a bit laidback with me? ! I always initate things so im going to leave it to her for awhile and see what happens.

i prefer to spend my time with easy going people who are happy to meet and dont go around the block to pick a date/time!

This is why i just like to hide myself away in my house with my partner sometimes Life is so much simpler behind closed doors!

Take the hint then, you're different people and she's reflecting that in her behaviour. Now you feel the same. It's ok. It's a bit hurtful but it's ok. My phrase at the moment, pinched from mumsnet, is to diplomat your way through it. When you see her, chat and be nice but dont chase her for meetups as it pisses you off and life is too short x

You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
You can make more faithful and loyal friends than this.

@BookiesBicycle i love that saying!

@something2say
thats exactly it...life is too short! im currently 10 weeks pregnant and i think im over emotional about things but i need to let this one go. She knows where i am

i have bigger fish to fry!

Yes you're right. Just stop asking to meet, let it fade back. But DO make plans with those you feel confident and safe with. Itll make you feel a lot better xx and congratulations on your pregnancy!!

"You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow's ear" is such a good phrase.

Anyway, yes that sounds really frustrating. Even though its much harder said than done sometimes, I'd recommend that you just distance yourself from this "friend", she sounds like too much hard work.

As you're pregnant, you'll probably find you'll make plenty of new friends in the next year or so anyway who actually care about seeing you and having your friendship! (not to be harsh, but it sounds like this person is taking you for granted/ being a twat in general).

@Fearnecuptea
that is true! ive already made another friend through pregnancy and she is lovely!

i have a gut feeling that once baby arrives, this friend may disappear off the charts for awhile but im ok with that!

Oh that's great! it is really annoying when people act like this though. You don't need that stress when you're pregnant! kick her to the kerb (haha ;))