Has anyone's mother in-law kind of turned on them over time?
Mine used to be so nice to me and now since I've had my dd she's just... Changed.
Or maybe she hasn't and I'm just her next target instead of the ex wife?
Quick backstory. Been with dp 5 years. He has 2 kids to ex wife which are here 3 times a week. There was drama from day 1 of meeting him between the ex wife and his side of the family, they don't like her and made sure that I knew that and thier reasons why.
Fast forward 5 years. I actually sympathise with the ex wife and get on well with her. (well, to the best I can... Its a looong story) but anyway, ever since I've had my own dd who's 1, his family have changed towards me.
So, me and dp don't have a mortgage, we can't get one so we have no choice but to rent. He's bad with money. Before I met him, I had no debt, I had my own place, I paid my own bills etc etc. Ever since I've known him he's always had "the bank of mam" and lends substantial amounts off her and never pays it back. Although, when he's tried she tells him to keep it.
Initially I moved in with him, then we rented a house, now we've moved again. Everything was split 50/50 between us. Rent, bills etc. Bills came out his account as he transfered everything over to the new house in his name. Unbeknown to me, he wasnt paying the council tax, (imagine my horror when I got a letter through the door to go to court) I had to pay it off, I was that close to leaving but in the end I stayed and made sure that I paid it from my account.
Now, I've looked after his kids on my days off, or when he's working late for 5 years now. I'm basically thier childcare to save on costs as he already pays maitnance to ex wife. I didn't mind for a while, but quickly realised when my stress levels were through the roof that I'm making everyone else's lives easier, and mine more difficult by being a stupid yes person.
I've dealt with ex wife drama, financial issues caused by him, his kids, (buying them clothes, beds, toys, birthday and Christmas presents because if I don't, he won't do it) he's an absolute man child to be honest...
Yet, his mother can see no wrong in him. If he asks her to lend him money, she texts ME about our finances, if he's sounding sad to her, she texts ME asking why as if it's my fault. She's told me I have to transfer everything into MY name and pay all the rent and bills, she's told me to ring HIS solicitor about his ex wife drama, she handed me a list once of "things to do in the house" including getting rid of our cats.
She came the other week to our new house, told us to cut the grass, told us she hated the deco (we rent, still waiting on permission to decorate) told us she was going to have a neb around the house, told me "it's a crying shame you have 2 degrees and your not doing anything with them" 3 times in the space of an hour. Told me I need to get back to work and pay for childcare. Told me to go and do another degree. Told me I need a "bit of get up and go about you, girl".
She used to hug me when she came to visit. Now, it's a side glance and a forced smile.
I'm THIS close to packing my shit and leaving. Even my own family aren't this judgemental and pushy. It's like nobody is good enough for her precious son, yet little does she know I had my shit together before I met him.