Help

[Debs0908]

I desperately need someone to talk to. My husband left me and the kids for another woman on 3rd Jan and my whole life has fell apart. I don't want to be here anymore and really want someone to listen to me.x

Sending you a hug Debs
And as said previously- lots of people here to support you 💐
Come here as little or as often as you need to

Hi hope you getting appointments sorted.
You are a beautiful special person who is there for your children. They definitely would not be better off without you know matter how bad you are feeling.
They will always need their mum no matter how old they are. Especially as their dad focused elsewhere now.
I know it's so difficult for you and we are not in your shoes to know how you feel but take one day at at time, go out walking, dress up in anything you have at home, eat well, spend time with family and friends. Don't turn down any invites. You will feel better one day and there may be someone else better out there for you but main thing is to look at you and children. Don't feel you need a partner to be a whole person. You are a whole beautiful intelligent caring person who is there for her family and you can't help how bad you are feeling.
Go out in car when roads quiet and drive somewhere and shout scream cry out loud music on and get feelings out.
Your life is worth living a billion times and if you weren't here things would be worse for your children as other women may then have more contact. Get strong.
Post on here whenever feeling you need support. There are so many lovely mums who want to help.
Take care.

So good to see your update. We are here for support.

Make sure you eat, just little bits if all you can manage but you need to keep strength up.

Ps one day you will look back and be glad he's not in your life as he doesn't deserve you.
You are better than him.
Hold your head up high.
His new women will have the worry of whether he will cheat on her one day.
You are better than the pair of them and the novelty will wear off.
Don't let him back if they ever fall out/argue.
You are going get strong now and get you back.
Let us know how you are sometimes when you feel like it.🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Hi Debbie, I just wanted to say hello. Did you manage to speak to your GP!?

Please don't feel that you are making a fuss. I had to do similar this time last year. I called my GP and said (through tears) that I need some help with my mental health. At the time, I could only speak to the receptionist, but my GP called me back within an hour, referred me to local mental health services who called me back that afternoon and I had my first assessment a couple of days later.

There is no shame and nothing wrong with asking for help. And it really will help. I promise.

In the meantime, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You WILL get through this and keep posting here.

Please take care and let us know how you get on. x

That's so great you're speaking to your GP today and already have a plan b in mind (having some therapy privately). Make sure you're honest with the GP about how you're feeling, don't minimise. Let us know how you get on, if the thread is helpful to you

Good that you’ve woken up and have started your own little action plan
Take each day at a time and make sure you eat and drink even if it’s just tea and toast or crisps and fruit or something.
My little treat to myself is a bath with a gin and tonic and a book for an hour when the kids have gone to sleep. It really helps me switch off.

You need to take care of yourself too

That's excellent Debs, phoning the GP, you need help, one step at a time.

Try not to think too far ahead, rest and really look after yourself, you are going through trauma and need to be very kind to yourself.

Remember you can also phone the Samaritans if you need to talk, they are very good at listening.

Take care lovely. xx

Dear Debs, not a lot to add other than to say that if you're working you may have access to free counselling through an Employee Assistance Program. Take care of yourself - keep talking to mumsnet, these women are amazing.

Please remember, no matter how dark and awful you may feel just now, or how messed up and irreparable everything looks right now... anything and everything CAN change for the better.
A lot of us have been there and seen better times with our own eyes. BELIEVE and trust in better times to come, even if you can’t see or sense them just yet, they’re on their way. And well done for taking that first step to phone the GP.

One day, you may even find yourself glad he did this, because of how much happier you will be!

Please let us know how things are going, we care and we really want to listen and support you. We have received help in difficult times and would love nothing better than to pay it forward. You deserve it!

You will be okay. Everything will be okay.
You are not just a mother, but a worthwhile and valuable person in your own right. Never forget that, please.

Hi Debs. I hope your chat with the GP goes well. As a PP said, do not minimise how you're feeling. It's okay to feel like this and it's okay to ask for help. You don't need to be strong.

Are there any box sets you can zone out to at bedtimes to help you doze off? I know it might sound like a rubbish suggestion but even in my 30s when times have been tough, Harry Potter films and Seinfeld have gotten me through along with a good old cry
I can really vouch for this as a way of getting through difficult times. Something light with a chance of making you laugh a bit. It's like having company. I did this so much when I was going through something and I still have something on when I drift off now. I just got used to it and find it very comforting.

4 months is no time at all.
You’re doing great.
I know exactly how you feel as my ex tipped my life upside down in a similar manner about five years ago.
It was up and down for a few months for sure including feeling the way you’re feeling.
Keep talking and it’s great you’re considering counselling! I did a group therapy Cbt course through the nhs and accessed some one to one counselling through relate which was cheaper than fully private. It defiantly helped me process everything. The group was fab too. No pressure to share or anything, just ways to manage mood and thinking.

Keep going - it gets better and life will seem normal again one day.

I’d like to add I’ve gone through similar just last year so can empathise. You can and will get through this. I hit rock bottom but the only way is up. Lots of amazing posters on here supporting you 💐

How are you doing this evening @Debs0908?

Hope you are ok Debs.

It. Will. Get. Better.

It may not feel like it now, but it will, and that's certainly a reason to hold on and ride out the storm.

I am worried that she is not responding now.

@loveyourself2020

I am worried that she is not responding now.

My hope is that maybe she didn't feel like she needed us yesterday, which would be a very positive thing for her. But it is a little worrying, yes.