Recently separated and missing my children so much. When does it get better?

[OneForTheRoadThen]

Hi, I'm just hoping for some advice and words of wisdom from people further down the line. My ex moved out a couple of weeks ago and we share 60/40 custody of the children. They're with me for 4 days a week and he has them for 3 days. This is the first week they're staying with him and I miss them so much.

I've followed all the advice and I'm trying to keep myself busy but I can't stop crying, especially in the evenings. The children are only 4 and 3 and I know they need to see their dad but it's so hard. When does it get easier?

When you start doing things you enjoy and getting some of the old 'you' back. I took the opportunity to study an OU degree to take up my time. But being able to go out in the evening when normally you'd be stuck in because of bedtime, cinema trips etc when they are allowed, maybe invest in one of those Odean limitless passes if you like films. DD rarely stays over her dad's but when she does I buy my favourite foods, maybe something from M&S and watch a grown up movie. Don't spend the whole time they're away doing housework though.

Totally normal! I was in tears the first time DS went to his days for half the week...however, I love the time to myself now! DS is having fun with his dad, so this is guilt free childfree time for myself!

Organise some pamper time, time with friends, time to just slouch and do nothing!

It is very very hard but nothing compares to the first Xmas they are not with you on Xmas morning. Try to treat yourself when you are on your own. I found I did some mundane jobs like laundry so when I did have children I could play with them and not stuck doing housework. Make lots of happy memories when you do have them and take lots of photos too.

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime thanks. I did that yesterday, I bought a pizza and watched a film, had a couple of glasses of wine, slept in a little later and did all my housework before work. I should feel happy but I just feel miserable. I want them here.

I've started a professional qualification which I'm finding difficult and I just feel so low all the time.

Thanks @Bigbubbles100 and @caringcarer I feel the kids prefer to be at my ex's and I'm just worried I'll lose them completely. It seems so unfair that he can claim he 'doesn't think he's a relationship person' yet I have to see my kids less.

Make sure they get plenty.of gruitband veg when they are with you. My ex fed my DS on junk food when he was with.hom and there was nothing I could do about it except pack him off with a net of Satsumas in his rucksack.

You're allowed to feel a little lost, a little low and cry.