Adult son bullying me

[morethanspice]

I’m separated messy divorce son still at home
Ex a controlling narcissist type and son starting to follow suit
He’s trying to control what I eat, he threw out my margarine when I was at work, he’s just barged into my room saying I’m snoring
It’s constant, I’m beginning to feel unwelcome in my own home

Still young enough to be exploring who he is- Perhaps he thinks he can step into the space your ex has left- you will be doing him a favour if you react strongly, kick him out and be clear why. He will know for the future relationships he has, and you will be safe.
Don’t worry about him- he has another parent to provide, he is an adult, he may well find it hard to start with, but he will organise himself if you don’t do it for him!

Come down on him like a ton of bricks. Really fucking mad, with all the home truths. If that doesn't work he needs to move out. Tolerating this is in no one's best interests.

Hope you're ok, op. A friend of mine went through something similar with hers. She phoned the police ( after he attacked her), and they escorted him off the premises. She was devastated ( understandably). It's been a while now but they are actually getting on much better, living apart.
I wanted to send you hope as I know the pain my friend endured.

You need to make it very clear that if he wants to live in your house he behaves like a reasonable human being. If not, he can get out.

He needs to be reminded it’s your house not his, he doesn’t get to dictate anything.

He needs to leave

Agree with you all but it doesn’t matter what I say, he’s so opinionated. I’m just realising how the abuse in my marriage crept up on me. I had a serious breakdown last year and he was really supportive but now I’m stronger he is picking faults frequently. I’m not strong enough to have it out with him. He just deflects words off like he’s wearing a shield. But if I get my own place he won’t be coming with me.

@pog100

Come down on him like a ton of bricks. Really fucking mad, with all the home truths. If that doesn't work he needs to move out. Tolerating this is in no one's best interests.

This!!! Tell him it’s your home and you can do whatever you want in YOUR own house. Literally walk him to the front door and tell him if you don’t like it here is the front door, mind it doesn’t hit you on the way out!

There is no need for a showdown. Just pack his bags and lock him out.

Hi I am really struggling with son 28 who refused to work or sign unemployment dad goes to work oblivious I'm dying please help

Well that’s the behaviour he’s had modelled to him as acceptable. Only you can now explain to him that you won’t tolerate it from his father OR him.

As tough as it will be you need to get him to leave if he won't behave respectfully. Not only is this unacceptable to you but imagine his future relationships as a partner and father if this isn't firmly nipped in the bud.

This is a ZOMBIE THREAD from May 2021.

@GillyB1962 you should start your own thread as most people will read this and respond to the original post. There should be a button near the thread title called 'Start new thread'.

Hi there,
We will close this zombie thread down now.