Sent screenshots.

[YouKnowNothingJonSnow1]

A girl my partner used to have sex with (behind her boyfriends back) has sent me a message on FB with screenshots of her and him on Snapchat speaking.

We’ve been together 6 years with kids, when we first started seeing eachother this woman had great delight in telling me they’d had sex before me and she could take my ‘man’ anytime she pleased. He told her to f* off after she kept repeatedly messaging him to stay at hers behind my back. This was 6 years ago and haven’t heard off her since. Anyway yesterday I received screen shots off her that they’ve been speaking on SC. She added him and he instigated it saying how she must be so eager to see him as she’s also added him on Facebook. They were planning on meeting this Friday/Saturday to ‘speak like they used to’ (have sex) and have a drink together! When she asked if he was still with me, his reply was ‘ do you care 👀’

I’m absolutely gobsmacked, I’ve questioned him before and every other time he’s gaslighted and I’ve had no real evidence. He was even asking for pictures of her in the bath. I feel so sick and embarrassed that he’d do this knowing the trouble she’d caused previously. I need to the strength to leave.

Both of thier behaviour is awful OP but I'd focus on your boyfriend rather than this girl. And by focus, I mean leave.

You have to leave. Honestly, you are worth so much more - let her have him, he’s no prize.

How awful Op. Agree with previous poster- 100% focus on what he’s done and is planning on doing. Sending love 💕

How upsetting for you
You deserve better!!!

Any trust you had in him is gone OP and you will NEVER trust him again! That's no way to live.

Regardless of the minimising and gaslighting he will definitely do if/when you confront him, he's a liar and a cheat and has absolutely no respect for you as his partner or mother of his children.

Do not allow yourself to be treated this way x

HE is the one letting you down.

Though the lass isn’t exactly your ally, she has been kind enough to show you what he is.

You deserve better than a cheating, lying, gaslighting arsehole.

He should be ashamed of himself.

Oh OP so sorry you are going through this. You are correct, you need to leave him. You will never trust him again. Do you have some real life support ?

How awful! She sounds vile but obviously it’s him who’s to blame. How do you want to play it? I think if I was you I’d get an exit plan in place and confront him in the act!

They both sound vile to be honest. I think though she has done you a favor, as now you know you won't have to waste anymore time on him
Please don't view him as a "prize" to be fought over, dump and run !

The fact that he is morally bankrupt and intended to cheat on you aside- someone who is a gaslighter is not a suitable partner. Normal people don't really gaslight but psychopaths and narcissists (npd) do. Run for the hills.

I don’t understand your comment “ feel so sick and embarrassed that he’d do this knowing the trouble she’d caused previously”. He’s cheating on you, it doesn’t matter who it’s with. She’s irrelevant. It would be just as bad if it was any other woman. A cheats a cheat.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Will you speak to him about it?

Ew what a pair of rats. She clearly didn't want him just wanted to prove she could have him & i think thats even sadder than him caving in. Hes an absolute div whos probably wrecked his family for naff all!

I'm sorry for you & your kids but (easier said than done) just let them have each other. Let them be miserable together.

The best revenge will be your happiness.

Did you reply to her message at all? If not, don't. No satisfaction from her is needed, get yourself together as well as you can show him the door & work from there.

Chances are he is already aware if shes sent you the screenshots shes probably told him so too, do not let him talk you round.

Good luck & all the best OP

Sounds like they deserve each other! Kick him out. You can do better. And being alone would be better than being with someone with no morals or values.

When he leaves to meet her.. pack his stuff and leave it at the door, for his return.