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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I going mad

11 replies

Dogmum01 · 17/05/2021 12:11

Hey ladies, after 11 years of a relationship (6 of marriage) and a little boy, I joined tinder. I met a lovely man, with a similar history, we got on well and had same values and views on the big things. Because of covid we didn't meet each others families/friends. 3 months in he's gone quiet on me. I haven't heard from him in 4 days which is unusual, normally we could go a couple of days with no contact but this is the 5th day. He did warn me very early on that for 2 months of the year (currently in the middle of it) that he works 13/14 hour days. I called him late last night, but no answer and no contact today.

I'm thinking the worst but I'm not sure if this is because the shit I've been through. The last time we were together (1 week ago} we had a lovely evening, I made him a special dinner and he spent the night. I've asked my friends thought but they're extremely protective so looking for some impartial advice. Am I being a fool? Should I leave him be? Or am I over thinking things.

OP posts:
lonelyplanetmum · 17/05/2021 12:22

I think leave him be. He will have a missed call/message from you.
This is a one off really isn't it, so wait to see what happens.

Not sure about this but ...Maybe re- browse on line dating just in case to keep your mind off him?

Dogmum01 · 17/05/2021 12:27

Yes, I think you're right. I really thought there was something there between us and was really beginning to fall for him. This no contact is driving me crazy😔

OP posts:
edwinbear · 17/05/2021 12:29

No matter how busy he is, I don't believe for a minute that he couldn't find 10 seconds to send a message over a 5 day period. I'd not contact him again personally.

GentlemanJay · 17/05/2021 12:32

@edwinbear

No matter how busy he is, I don't believe for a minute that he couldn't find 10 seconds to send a message over a 5 day period. I'd not contact him again personally.
It really is so easy. Maybe he thinks the relationship is more casual than you thought.
sunnyzweibrucken · 17/05/2021 12:39

It only takes 5 seconds to send a “thinking of you” text or a “hope you had a great day” text especially right before bed or first thing when waking. Sorry I don’t believe that he doesn’t have time to send a simple text. I used to work 14 he days 7 days a week and still found time for a quick call or a few texts-if he likes you enough there’s always time.

Dogmum01 · 17/05/2021 13:05

I know deep down you're right 💔

OP posts:
Dogmum01 · 17/05/2021 13:07

I know deep down you're right. I'll leave him be 💔

OP posts:
premium77 · 17/05/2021 13:44

Did you send the last message?

Dogmum01 · 17/05/2021 13:55

I tried calling him last night. It is usually him that sends the first message.

OP posts:
seensome · 17/05/2021 14:00

Sorry I think he's no longer interested, everyone has time to send a quick message at some point in 24 hours, after 5 days that's it, time to go back on tinder. Don't contact him again , It's really shit you'd think he would have the decency to tell you.

Sunflower1970 · 17/05/2021 19:54

Leave it. He knows where you are if he wants you

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