Couples counselling - does it work?

[Oneanddone03]

Over two weeks ago I left my boyfriend; moving out of my house and taking our son. I left because I felt he was controlling and nasty and I felt unloved.

He has now suggested we attend couples counselling (whilst separated). He was crying and very upset saying he loves me, misses me and wants his family back and that he can’t just give up.

I’ve said that I will attend. But I’m obviously very dubious as to whether it will change anything. If anything I think it may just cement what I already know. But I feel I have to try as there is still love there and I want to be sure I’ve done all I can.

So I’m wondering, have any of you done couples therapy? Did it work/not work? Can a leopard change his spots?

If he's abusive then counselling is not recommended, which is what being controlling is.

I left my XH a few years ago for similar reasons. He had a few individual counselling sessions and then we attended Relate together.

It was awful...the counsellor was clearly an apologist for men's behaviour and was keen to congratulate XH on attending as 'discussing feelings can be so difficult for men' .

I refused to attend a second session.

As @DogGoneCrazyNow days, it's not recommended for cases of domestic abuse.

In an earlier attempt (at anger management therapy) XH came home having apparently been told that he wouldn't have anger management issues if I 'didn't piss him off so much'.

Ironically I begged him to have relationship counselling with me for years and he said it would be like throwing money down the drain.

Turns out he was right. I am now happily divorced.