In complete shock

[Sandra15]

Today I found out that a man I dated several years ago has been arrested for possession of pornographic images of children and animals including horses. Although I didnt see any evidence of this the times I saw him I did think there was something off kilter with him and that he was odd. He was training to be a counsellor and things didnt add up. I received verbal abuse when I ended the relationship.

It's really nothing to do with me and I have had nothing to do with him since then but whilst being grateful for dodging a bullet there is something seedy and filthy about being intimate with someone that has done this that I can't shake off. Feeling very shaken.

Sorry this happened to you op. It is a great shock you must be feeling and you have nothing to feel ashamed of.

You did not know who you were dealing with at the time and you are not complicit in any of his behaviour.

Your gut was spot on at the time and when the shock subsided, you will just be relieved that you got out when you did.

What a horrible shock. Have you got anyone you trust that you can confide in? I think talking about your feelings will help, don't bottle this up.

Yes, that's horrible. No wonder you are shaken up, I think we all would be. Count your blessings that he is an ex and that you were intuitive enough to know something was wrong. Treat yourself kindly - it isn't/wasn't your fault .

Thanks for the comments. I feel embarrassed to talk with anyone I know as it associates me with him and I don't want that.

I think this happens far more often than we realise OP . You have no reason to feel embarrassed by this , you felt he was somehow odd and not what you wanted it ... and moved on
You were proved right - well done
Please discuss with loved ones and take care of yourself

It makes me think that you never really know what is going through guys' minds, and finding this out after thinking I had clicked with someone last summer who ghosted me after sending sexual messages makes me doubt my discernment with guys.

Had a similar situation, an old school friend is currently in prison for a similar thing.

I really want to disassociate myself from him - I hate even saying 'we were friends in school'.

I can understand you being shaken op.
My dh used the same coffee shop every morning and the manager was a friendly guy, good at his job.
Then one morning he had gone and a year later we found out he had been taking photographs of boys in men's toilets.
I thought of all the times we had taken dgs into this café and although he was only a baby/toddler it made me feel sick that he had interacted with him.
Horrible feeling.