My parents divorced when I was 8years old , my father had access of us until I was 14/ 15. For whatever reason that stopped , things were very volatile between them . In my head I remember it was all about them not what was best for their 4 children.
My eldest sister who is 2 years older clashed with my mum big style, ( mum was not the easiest person) she literally ran away and then lived with our dad. All I remember is visits stopped, social services were back and forth to our house. I remember one day my dad was waiting for me on the school run home, I just ran , I don't know why, he was my dad but I did.
Hence I never saw my dad again, even though we lived in the same town until I moved at 20. He died when I was 24. He never tried to contact me, I found out after he had been ill on and off for some time but I wasn't contacted until it was to late.
This is when myself and my sister came back into each others lives. I never went to the funeral, I couldn't stand and grieve in public for a man I didn't know for the last 10 years. I did my grieving in private.
My sister is in my life now. She tried with our mum after dad died because our Aunty told her to, I feel she and my mum never made the effort so it was hard going. I tried to maintain a relationship with my mum, she was hard work but she was my mum and all I knew parent wise. I have always had comments off my sister 'your her favourite ' which to be honest pisses me off because she has no idea what I had to de with when she left home, in my final years of school I was only there half the time because I would be at home looking after younger siblings.
Our mum died last year very suddenly, I was devastated as was my other siblings.
I felt like there was no understanding from my sister as to why we were so grieve stricken and still are to a point.
My brother who saw my mum everyday is still struggling, I spoke to my sister the other day about him, he's depressed , anxious. I said I'm not surprised. My sisters view is why did we put up with my mum for so long? I try to explain she was all we had parent wise and she had my dad. I don't mean that in a nasty way .
Anyway, the other day I get I text saying. "I don't like it when you say to me you had dad, you could've spoke to him you chose not to.it makes him out he didn't care about his children which is not the case.
I'm really hurt by that comment. To me I was the child. I left home when I was 17 , he never tried to contacted me. To me he should of tried harder, and when I came of age he could of tried but he never did.
I messaged back with an apology , saying I was only trying to explain but I did say I was the child back then I no child should have to choose between parents.
Whats made me more angry is her own children dont see their dad so is that their fault!!
How do I let this anger go that I feel by this comment? I don't want to argue , I've said the past is the past. I'm 42 now , our dad has been gone for nearly 18years , our mum has gone. I don't want to keep raking over the past there's no point.