Lonely

[Newwoman2017]

My DH and I keep having recurring arguments, the last one was a few weeks ago but I'm still feeling really sore..i don't feel its resolved.

My husband got annoyed about me asking what he's up to that day (as in work) he think i'm being insecure, i thought it was normal to ask about your partners day. I no longer talk about his day and i do not text him anymore unless he texts me because several times lately he's not replied saying he forgot.

I feel like such an afterthought everything's is more important than me, he doesnt want to do anything with me even a walk. I'm sick of walking the dog on my own seeing loads if couples. I feel like he's my lodger because eveything is his and mine. I do all the childcare, sometimes it feels like they are not even his kids. He's never been very cuddly or kissy but as the kids are older now i just feel so lonely as i have noone to share my time with. I see my friends doing stuff together and it makes me sad..i have tried so mant times to talk to him but we just don't get anywhere. I dont see how a marriage can inprove if i feel i'm not allowed to ask about his day.

I'm not worried he's cheating but i'm worried its just easier than splitting up. Its starting to effect me at work because i feel miserable , it was fine working at home but now im back i'm finding it hard.

Do you want to stay with this person?

He doesn't sound like a nice person.
Amd why was he so defensive about you asking how his day was? His response seemed designed to stop you asking questions.

Either way he is a dick and marriages are not supposed to be lonely and hurtful. They are supposed to make you feel supported and loved.

I'd consider cutting your losses and getting out. It looks like he has checked out of your marriage already anyway.

Why doesnt he want to engage at all ? Long how has it been like this?

I don't know why he's like it, we have the same argument every few months when i blow my top because I'm tired. I only work 20 hrs per week but i do all the housework, shopping cleaning & everything for kids.
He does outside jobs and cooks sometimes. Maybe he's anoyed with me because i dont always do what he says, he thinks the kids should make their own breakfast and lunches. We argue that he always comes to bed late 12ish i have to be up at 6.15 so i like to go by 10.30 - 11 we seem to have sex less because he never initiates it when he comes to bed, I've asked him to make an effort once in a while to come up earlier so ive not been asleep for an hour and all groggy. In the morning i feel like its just another chore because I'm under pressure to walk dog get kids off and get to work myself.

He does seem to have given up on me, i have started to make less effort too because he doesn't like me kissing or cuddling him.. i cant be the person i am because of this which is sad.

I guess i have to adress this more seriuosly, maybe he thinks i will never end things because hes younger than me or maybe he wants me to so he doesnt have to.

Of course you feel lonely. I think you need to accept that things won't improve unless you both want it to. I understand talking to him is a daunting prospect, but if you tell him you are at crisis point and he does nothing, you know you are flogging a dead horse.

You sound so unhappy. Would you consider some counselling to work out what you want to do and work on your self esteem? It's taken a nosedive because of his treatment of you.

This is really taxing on you, you must be really physically exhausted as well as mentally.

Which options have crossed your mind so far?

I do feel drained from carrying the weight of this on my shoulders. I will try and find a way to say how i feel again. There are lots of other issues his relationship with my parents has really changed. Not from
anything I've said to them but because of something to do with my sibling. This has upset too because he doesnt want to do anything with them anymore & if i invite them over he is quite off compared to how he used to be. This also makes me sad.
He is very hard to please so i thibk i'm just going to stop trying to and focus on my own needs.