In 30s and anxious

[brw55]

Hi everyone,

I’m not sure why I’m posting this, I guess to get some advice on how to stop these feelings because it’s crippling at the moment.

Brief background: I am 31, almost 32. I broke up with my long term boyfriend of 8 years just before lockdown started so haven’t really been able to date. A few months ago I reconnected with someone from school and we were intense very quickly. I genuinely thought that would be it from everything he was saying and doing. Rewind to last week and he dumps me by text.

I have a few single friends but the majority are engaged and getting married this year, likely to start having children this year or next. I’ve always been very chilled on general but over the last 2 weeks seem to have developed this crippling anxiety that I’m not going to meet anyone, never have children and just be miserable and alone forever. I have a very good job, live alone and stay busy - I have a great life - but I just so badly want someone to share it with. I feel like if I could look into a crystal ball and see that I’d be happily married with children I’d be absolutely loving my life right now but I lie awake at night so anxious with these thoughts.

I’m back on the apps but just read horror stories on here about them so I’m not sure it’s for me. I also just feel so embarrassed and somehow like a failure for still being single. It also doesn’t help I’m still so upset over the boy I just broke up with. Basically PLEASE HELP ME. I’m going crazy, does anyone else have this fear? How do you deal with it?

Everyone who just comes out Of a relationship feel like you do at the moment. You sound like you have everything going for you. Lockdown is coming to an end - make plans and do things you enjoy. Somebody will come along don’t worry. I met my husband at 38 OLD and it’s wonderful. There are always horror stories with OLD - I kissed a few frogs etc etc - stick with it xxx

Find something you love and love yourself. Being alone is not nice but that picture in your head isn't the only one. Could you raise a child by yourself? You can make that decision and adopt if this is the aspect you are concerned about. If it's companionship, try a friendship app rather than a dating one. I've found things in life tend to happen at the correct time. Maybe you will be a cougar and your husband hasn't finished school yet . Chin up darling xxx

Be kind to your self and find the joy in life again!

I’m sure you’ll find love again, don’t envoy your friends. I’ve seen some of my friends rush into relationships and have children with wrong person as they were worried and anxious. The disaster that followed and the long term affects on the children is sad.

You will eventually. There are:
Dating apps- esp if you have wider age range, singles events, speed dating, hobbies, holidays, friends of friends, egg freezing etc.

If you need someone from the future to promise it will happen, you can just promise to yourself op. Just do little steps and don't forget to enjoy life. That's the advice I wish I'd had at your age.