If you stayed in a unhappy relationship, do you regret it?

[sophielis]

I feel like I'm wasting my years being with my OH, I know what I want and it's not him. And to be honest I would like to be on my own for a bit and work on myself.

He doesn't want to get married, talks to me however he wants, thinks I wouldn't manage without him. The list goes on, we have good times it's not all miserable but I just know he's not my partner for life.

I can't see us ending it anytime soon I would probably stay another year or 2 to make sure I'm financially stable. Let DS start school and get DD into nursery. Has anyone stayed for a while and regretted it? I don't want to waste time and regret it but it's the only way.

I've always regretted staying one moment longer than the realisation that I shouldn't be with him.

You'll be surprised how things come together when you make the decision to leave and spend the time you spend appeasing him on getting you and your DC out.

Start researching any resources available to you. Speak to a lawyer. Confide in a trustworthy friend.

It's such a shocking thing to go through but so wonderful to have peace with your kids! You love that from the first second! It's the processing that takes so long. I didn't miss him but I grieved him for 3 years.

@Bbub Thank you so much. I've not heard of it and there's one near me. I'll take a look.

I've stayed far too long and I know I'll regret it. I know in my own mind that you only get one life and you have to make the most of it, and I've been told the same constantly by friends and family, yet here I am still. I've let someone lovely go, to make matters worse, and now am so resentful and angry all the time for not taking that brave step. I hope you find a way out soon OP x

I stayed too long in two unhappy relationships.

The first one was with someone I still loved but was no longer in love with. I worried he would be unable to cope on his own. I stayed with him for his benefit but it meant we were both unhappy and we both knew the relationship wasn't going to improve. We split then cohabited because it was my place and I didn't want to kick him out. Eventually he started dating someone who tried to pressurise him into kicking me out of my own place. I realised I'd been too much of a pushover and had to stand my ground.

The second person damaged my mental health and it's taken years for me to recover. I think now about how many years I wasted on relationships that weren't right for me.

We need a campaign to say woohoo congratulations when we divulge we are leaving unhappy relationships

I don’t want to tell anyone because of all the “oh no I’m so sorry” reactions ... blah blah
I’m leaving so we can be happy !!