Adultery

[Moonglider]

Hey Everyone,

I need some advice. Married with three kids. I broke up with my wife over a year ago, her decision not mine. Even though there was a lot of emotional abuse from her, only being treated as nothing more than room mate for over a year prior to separation. I have still remained faithful while separated, even now. I was originally happy for her to tell the courts I don't spend enough with her, just to get the divorce over and done with, she said no. I was then happy to wait for the no-fault option to become law this year in England (there is still a lot of uncertenty until these laws come in), she agreed. But she's now admitted to chatting with and dating other guys, along with having intercourse with one guy multiple times.

I feel completely used and betrayed, she was only happy still talking to me to satify her emotional needs and insecurities with these new guys as well as when she needed something either doing around the house or have the kids (at her place, not mine) while she goes out.

I've been told that unless she admits in court, there is nothing I can do, even if I have evidence it's no good.

Any advice??

Cite unreasonable behaviour and have done with it, don’t bother trying to force her to admit to adultery. Legally it is, yes; but you’re separated and both free to pursue other people. Sexual contact with other people can be cited as an example of unreasonable behaviour, if it’s important to you to have it acknowledged.

You mean she has started seeing someone after you separated?

It's not really adultery, is it? Legally, or morally. You've separated, you've discussed the divorce petition. There is no realm in which you are still 'man and wife' who need to stick to vows.

She has moved on quicker than you, just get the divorce done and move on with your life also

Even though you are separated, you don't have a formal legal separation so it's still classed as adultery, however, to divorce on the basis of adultery, you need actual real evidence of penis-in-vagina. (Honestly. They need to update that.). Or they need to tick the box to say that they agree to it.

It's far easier to cite unreasonable behaviour and the alleged adultery can be a reason for it. So I would go down that route.

From a legal standpoint, if either party has a new sexual partner before decree absolute, it's adultery.

@ComtesseDeSpair

Thanks, as silly as it sounds I didn't know I could use unreasonable behavior for sexual conduct, I only thought adultery could be used.

Does she need to admit it in court?

The only advice you need is "let it go." It doesn't matter who she's talked to or slept with. Your marriage is over, and having adultery listed on the divorce papers is pointless. Just get the divorce finalised and move on with your life.

[quote Moonglider]@ComtesseDeSpair

Thanks, as silly as it sounds I didn't know I could use unreasonable behavior for sexual conduct, I only thought adultery could be used.

Does she need to admit it in court?[/quote]
Nope. But she can try and defend it - rarely happens though, it costs £££.

[quote Moonglider]@ComtesseDeSpair

Thanks, as silly as it sounds I didn't know I could use unreasonable behavior for sexual conduct, I only thought adultery could be used.

Does she need to admit it in court?[/quote]
Adultery has to be proven or admitted to. Unreasonable behaviour is behaviour which objectively is incompatible with continuing the marriage. If you both want to divorce quickly then agree between yourselves what behaviour you’re going to cite.

Definitely say unreasonable behaviour. That worked for my late mother and siblings.

I find this whole post strange. Just get the divorce finalised and get her out of your life.
Life's to short.

You can't claim it's adultery when you're seperated. You can't prove she cheated on you if you weren't together. Either wait for no fault or say unreasonable behaviour- I hope it goes quickly for you so you can move on.

@BetterThanKleenex Under English law even if you're separated you can claim adultery because you're married.

I still wouldn't; advise it, but technically you can.

Unreasonable emotional abusive behaviour would do it. Just get your divorce finalised. Its s### being emotionally abused. Be happy you are rid of her.

If you were separated you were separated. You can be mad at her for seeing other ppl when you were apart. Just because she was talking to you too doesn't mean she owed you anything.

If she is a nasty person like you say, surely you should be happy she is seeing other ppl. And just want to get away quickly and cleanly.

Chances are she only told you to get a rise out of you. You should just say 'that's nice, I'm happy for you'. And sit back and watch her confusion.