His ex is messaging him

[Dailielege]

I've name changed for this.

Me and my boyfriend have a baby boy. When I was about 3 months pregnant I saw messages on his phone and I broke up with him straight away and he got with her. A few weeks before I gave birth he apologised and told me he shouldn't have cheated. When baby was born I let him see him and he asked if we could try again with our relationship, I said yes but I told him it'd be his last chance and so far our relationship has been good and he lets me go on his phone etc so I know I can trust him. Yesterday, she messaged me saying he was cheating on me and messaging her flirty things. I asked him if I could go on his phone (but I didn't tell him why I just said mine was charging). He let me and the only messages were that she asked him if he was bored of being a dad yet and he said no, she then told him that she missed him but he didn't reply to that.

He didn't tell me that she messaged him but would you find this suspicious or would you just assume she's trying to cause trouble and make us split up again?

It will only be a matter of time before he cheats again so I would just let him go now and build a lovely future with you and your baby without looking over your shoulder or having to check his phone.

Why hasn't he deleted and blocked her number.

Why is he still in contact with her?
At the bare minimum he enjoys her attention. It strokes his ego so he strings her along. At worst...theres something else he wants her to stroke.

Read up on narcissistic triangulation. It's when a narcissist plays two women off against eachother. Might be what is going on here.

It does sound like shes stirring .. but he should have blocked her number.

He has blocked her number. The message was on Instagram, which he rarely uses so he probably forgot to block her on that.

Hi could've deleted his reply?

I think similar to other posters. From what you've said I think there's probably a 50/50 chance she's just stirring up trouble (fits with the messages she's sent him) or that she's telling the truth and he's been deleting the messages.

But regardless, you should save yourself the heartache of living with this doubt. You won't ever trust him, nor should you. If he wasn't enjoying the attention from her he would have blocked her. He doesn't sound like someone who is genuinely contrite, the chances are something will happen at some point, even if it hasn't already.

She is clearly just stirring trouble. But this is just too much of a soap opera and won’t end well for anyone.

There’s an easy way to prove/disprove this. Ask her to show you the messages. As it is, anyone who is capable of cheating on his wife and abandoning a 3 week old baby isn’t worth fighting for