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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anger at ex

6 replies

misssunshine4040 · 14/05/2021 09:06

I wonder I anyone has any advice to help me move past this angry feeling.
My ex turned to hard drugs when I was pregnant with 4 year old. He has been absent most of his life with the exception of a few weeks here and there when he sorted himself out.
His family sided with him since we split when I was pregnant and don't want any involvement with our son.
He disappears for months at a time with no contact and doesn't pay a penny for him. He then makes up Facebook accounts to message me which I block.
In his messages he is always asking to see son and makes excuses as to why he's not been in touch but he's free of drugs now etc and he will pay money. In the past I have taken him at his word and he has had supervised contact until he gets wasted on drugs again and I put a stop.
The cycle goes on.
I have had no contact with him since December and last night he messaged me from a new Facebook saying he wants his family back, he has a new car, he is off drugs etc. I told him to leave me alone as I was not going through this cycle again and he got abusive and I blocked him.
All this has left me feeling so angry. I have no family and no support at all. This is ok most of the time but I am expected to do weekend shifts at work and never can as I have no one to watch him, I get no down time as no one to have him in the evening etc and money is tight.
I love my son and he makes me so happy but how do I move past the rage and hurt that his Dad behaves this way with no choice but to not have him around at all then is manipulative and abusive when he does decide to show up.
I feel like the fact I've never been able to date since my son has been born etc or move on doesn't help

OP posts:
Majira618 · 14/05/2021 14:17

That's pretty harsh. Have you tried to find somebody? I mean, you certainly need somebody to take care of you. Try to find someone in your local area; online dating helps for me too, I <a class="break-all" href="//url=wickedlist.com/oh-dayton" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">date in Dayton now, but I'm not looking for anything serious though.

rumred · 14/05/2021 18:08

Wtf is the pp?
Perhaps counselling could help you come to terms with your ex

misssunshine4040 · 14/05/2021 18:13

What's pp?
Yeah maybe I need to find a way to get some closure. I hate the bad feeling and hatred most of all. I'd rather never speak again or be civil but I'm so angry at the situation with him.
It's a waste of time being so angry it changes nothing. Maybe if I had more support in general I would feel better

OP posts:
potter5 · 14/05/2021 18:16

pm is previous poster, who I think is posting on a different subject.

Happycat1212 · 14/05/2021 18:17

Very similar story for me. Ex disappears and only sees the kids once a year. Sees them for a few months then disappears for a year again. Haven’t been able to meet anyone as I’m with the children 24/7. It’s very hard and I can totally relate 😔

misssunshine4040 · 14/05/2021 18:56

Sorry to hear that @Happycat1212 it's awful isn't it.
Horrible for the kids and horrible for us. I don't know how they can do it

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