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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Drama and neediness

0 replies

UghJustSoPredictable · 12/05/2021 16:42

I'm not particularly bothered by this but really could see it coming. I'm just a bit Confused

I started dating someone. He asked after a week or so if we could be boyfriend/girlfriend. I said i was happy to be exclusive because I already was and would be anyway but labels so soon make me feel a bit anxious. We agreed that we were exclusive, and would see how it went but with a view to being together if it worked out for us.

I don't do drama. Genuinely. I don't get jealous, I don't message incessantly, I like time to myself. I have friends, hobbies, children, work - a full life.

He told me that he was quite enjoying being with someone where there was no 'drama'.

Anyway, FF 2 weeks and he ended it!

And why?

Because he couldn't cope with the lack of drama Confused. He felt unsettled because I wasn't anxiously messaging to ask who he was with and what he was doing - which has been his experience of women.

Because I'm not 'needy'.

He just said it completely threw him and he didn't know where he stood with me. it made him feel that I wasn't interested.

Meant to add, it's not the first time my 'independence' and lack of 'neediness' has been a problem for men. I can't believe that jealousy, drama and, effectively, co-dependancy are actually desirable relationship models for some.

Honestly, It feels like I just can't win!

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