Drama and neediness

[UghJustSoPredictable]

I'm not particularly bothered by this but really could see it coming. I'm just a bit

I started dating someone. He asked after a week or so if we could be boyfriend/girlfriend. I said i was happy to be exclusive because I already was and would be anyway but labels so soon make me feel a bit anxious. We agreed that we were exclusive, and would see how it went but with a view to being together if it worked out for us.

I don't do drama. Genuinely. I don't get jealous, I don't message incessantly, I like time to myself. I have friends, hobbies, children, work - a full life.

He told me that he was quite enjoying being with someone where there was no 'drama'.

Anyway, FF 2 weeks and he ended it!

And why?

Because he couldn't cope with the lack of drama . He felt unsettled because I wasn't anxiously messaging to ask who he was with and what he was doing - which has been his experience of women.

Because I'm not 'needy'.

He just said it completely threw him and he didn't know where he stood with me. it made him feel that I wasn't interested.

Meant to add, it's not the first time.my 'independence and self assuredness has been a problem for men. I can't believe that jealousy, drama and, effectively, co-dependancy are actually desirable relationship models for some.

Honestly, It feels like I just can't win!

Bullet dodged

Perhaps he just felt that your lack of contact was due to a lack of interest in him. If you are too busy with all your friends etc perhaps you don’t have time to date right now? Difficult to say without the specifics.

If you messaged him once a week then I’d presume you weren’t sufficiently interested in him to message more and no wonder he gave up.

Id you spoke once a day or second day and sent each other one or two messages a day I’d say that was plenty.

Lucky escape! He clearly has emotional issues of his own, so better he ended it now than wasted your time. Was he one of those that has 'No drama' on his OLD profile - I always think those are the men who CAUSE the drama ha!

As long as you're keeping in touch regularly i.e not just once a week, and making plans to see each other regularly - he should not feel unsettled. That's his problem. Next!

Basically he wanted you to put him on a pedestal and didn't like that you have healthy boundaries.

As pp said, bullet dodged.

He’d be a nightmare. Count your lucky stars and keep being you!

Ah bollocks - I've managed to post a million times!

Have reported!

Dear god, you've dodged a massive bullet. Well done. Carry on enjoying your low-drama life and let him crack on!

@wanadu2022

Lucky escape! He clearly has emotional issues of his own, so better he ended it now than wasted your time. Was he one of those that has 'No drama' on his OLD profile - I always think those are the men who CAUSE the drama ha!

As long as you're keeping in touch regularly i.e not just once a week, and making plans to see each other regularly - he should not feel unsettled. That's his problem. Next!

I didn't meet him online. I've known him for a few years but not well.

He messaged every morning and evening without fail and occasionally through the day. He initiated messages abut twice as often as I did.

I don't know, I seem to date men who are rarely in contact and distant or always in contact and clingy! Where are the in between men??

We saw each other every few days. Probably more than I normally would but I've been in a bit of a drought for a while and the sex was good...

Dodged a bullet, as the others say. I would not want to be with someone who craved drama!

He felt unsettled because I wasn't anxiously messaging to ask who he was with and what he was doing - which has been his experience of women.

This genuinely makes him sound about 15. And a bit pathetic.

I posted on one of the repeat threads but as others have already said, you dodged a bullet.

He will probably be back to hoover you and create drama. Don't look back and just be glad it was two weeks and not two months or years.

He did you a favour.

I think that's nonsense, I think he met someone else and decided to make it your fault.

He wanted you to chase him and put him in control.

Well done in getting rid

He sounds very insecure and emotionally feeble; not the most sexy of characteristics so agree you’ve certainly dodged a bullet!

Also agree that he wants to feel in control like a god being obsessed and fretted over by a minion, instead he fell into the gollum role he’d had in mind for you & ended it because the shoe was on the other foot... again deeply unattractive.

Hardly a behavioural prelude to hot jungle sex is it?! 😂

I guess he’s deeply insecure and needy and can only function in a relationship when he’s with someone more extreme in those areas than himself to give him comfort, so actually it’s a compliment to you.

Onwards and upwards!