How easy is it to move 3hrs away from parents & pil with dh & dd

[bigboydiditandranaway]

We're considering the possiblility of doing this maybe this time next year.

If any of you have done it how have you found it or what advantages/disadvantages do you seein doing it.

My parents would probably find it most difficult to deal with and i would possibly find pil quite difficult to see in such intense visits as they would probably be every 8 weeks for a weekend - we see them now once every 3 weeks for an afternoon and that can be a trial as they are quite difficult people.

It depends - will you have any support network of friends/family in the new location? It is extremely isolating not to have anyone around. It is also easy to overlook very small and minor favours that parents/PILs do for you when you are nearby. Without these little favours, things tend to mount up and something that would have been effortless with a support network around becomes a total nightmare without that support. I'm not talking anything major - just a lift from your mum/dad when you need to collect your car from the garage after a repair or them waiting in your house for a morning for a delivery/gas man etc if you have to do something etc.

I have lived 2.5hrs from parents and PILs and personally found it difficult because I was in a strange area and DH was working incredibly long hours. We have moved to be near my (large) family.

I live 2.5 hrs from my parents and 4 hrs from ILs. Although I like the fact they're not 'on top of us' I do miss the stuff they could do for us. Things like an occasional babysitter, or even just knowing there's someone who could help out in an emergency. I guess whether or not it's a good idea depends on how many friends etc you'd have nearby for support.

I haven't lived within a 3 hour drive of my parents for 18 years. We now (this has been the case since before DD was born) live about 3.5 hours away from my parents and 6 hours away from DH's. It does mean no babysitters on hand, and it does mean visits tend to be long (weekend) because of the distance, but that's OK. And with the internet we can send them pics of DD so they don't feel they are missing out, and we talk at least weekly by phone. (

we moved a similar distance from both our families but crucially it was before we had children so we hadn't got into routine grandparental visits. It works well for us.

We moved to a different country....

AND THEY FOUND US!!

NZ next option!

It would be if dh could get a job around an area we both love, he isn't looking to change jobs for 1-18months, it's just an idea and as dh says isn't really worth considering till then but have both flirted with idea.

We don't have any friends in that area, so it would be possibly difficult in that respect.

Has anyone felt guilty leaving their hometown where their parents still live?

I felt guilty staying in my hometown
like I hadn't grown up

I certainly didn't feel guilty. I might like to go back there one day, when I'm older, but don't feel there's anything wrong with not living near my parents and sister now.

we live 3 hours away from my parents and 3 hours away from PIL (in the opposite direction to my parents!) and have a one year old. I haven't lived near home since i went to uni and never minded it, until we had a baby.. now i do think it would be lovely if we had at least one set of gp nearby, not only because it would be convenient for us, but i think our ds is missing out a bit on all the love and attention they would give him - although they all make the effort to visit often, its not quite the same. Perhaps it is harder because we moved here when i was pg so don't have old friends to fall back on, as we would have done where we lived before. I think you would miss having family near, but if you move somewhere you love it would prob be worth it! All the best

we live 2.5 hours from PILs and a 9 hour flight from my parents.

if you are used to not seeing them so often it's not so hard.

I've never lived close to my mum so haven't had the luxury of a grandparent to hand. I've never liked it, I'd love my mum to be closer. Especially as she gets older. It takes me 6 hours to get to her. MIL is 2 hours away but we're not close.

Parents 2 hours away, PILs (at least 8 hours away (thankfully!) - I have 3 DCs and have felt like I and they were missing something as they've got older. My sister has just found out she's pg and just around corner from mum. Am feeling very jealous of the different sort of relationship her DC will have with its grandparents - But I spose that's my problem rather than one others might experience.