What happens when the trust is gone

[debbs77]

I've recently caught my partner out on something that he knows I have a huge problem with. This is the 5th time now, and he knows how I feel about it.

I had just started to trust him again after the last time and now it's totally gone.

I simply don't know how to move forward. I don't trust him or believe him, but can't prove anything.

It isn't a massive deal by some standards, but it is for me (watching porn while I'm in the house).

Some people here might say porn is not a big deal...but I personally think it's a terrible industry which perpetuates the abuse of vulnerable women.

So if THAT is your reason for being unhappy about it then fine. But if you're just jealous then you need to get your priorities straight.

He obviously values porn more than you. I would not be happy at all and would certainly reevaluate the relationship.

When the trust is gone you need to end the relationship. It doesn’t really matter what the issue is or whether it would be important to other people or not. The reality is that if this is the fifth time it’s happens, your partner doesn’t agree with you that it’s wrong and therefore doesn’t have any intention of stopping doing it? Why would you trust him? It sounds like a miserable situation for the both of you.

We all have different boundaries and if it’s not ok for you then that’s perfectly ok!

It wouldn’t be for me either, personally I’d have to finish with the person as I couldn’t bare for them to touch me let alone sleep with them again if they were doing this whilst I was at home.

If the trust is gone the relationship ends.

This isn't about jealousy, but my own insecurity.

He says he thinks it is a disgusting habit, but a habit from long term use many years ago. That he can go months/years without it then looks again. That often it is literally just looking and intrigue, nothing more.

We have a baby and a joint family which makes it so much harder. But I'm not afraid to be on my own again x

I have the same issues— but mine is when I’m out- it’s all disrespectful if they know how you feel— I think my problem is that ‘others ‘ say it’s making a mountain out of a molehill— the problem is for me that it changed how I felt- especially when they know how you feel about it — and in my case pretend they aren’t interested in it. I’ve casually me

I have the same issues— but mine is when I’m out- it’s all disrespectful if they know how you feel— I think my problem is that ‘others ‘ say it’s making a mountain out of a molehill— the problem isn’t for me that it changed how I felt- especially when the year know how you feel about it

Your insecurity isn't to blame here.
We all have different boundaries and deal breakers, and they can be about anything - porn, drinking, religion, friendships, politics etc. If he has a problem with what he calls a disgusting habit that he lapses back into, what is he doing about it?

If he's broken your trust 5 times already over the same issue, he will carry on doing it.
Don't set yourself up to get hurt again. If you some how managed to trust him again after this, how will you feel the next time you catch him out? You'll feel even more hurt and betrayed than this time and all of the other times.

Your insecurity isn't to blame here.
We all have different boundaries and deal breakers, and they can be about anything - porn, drinking, religion, friendships, politics etc. If he has a problem with what he calls a disgusting habit that he lapses back into, what is he doing about it?

This is the 5th time now, and he knows how I feel about it.

What he knows is that it doesn't matter how many times he does it, because you'll stay anyway. Basically he doesn't care how you feel about it and he'll keep doing it.

5th time? its over

If he's broken your trust 5 times already over the same issue, he will carry on doing it.
Don't set yourself up to get hurt again. If you some how managed to trust him again after this, how will you feel the next time you catch him out? You'll feel even more hurt and betrayed than this time and all of the other times.

This is the 5th time now, and he knows how I feel about it.

What he knows is that it doesn't matter how many times he does it, because you'll stay anyway. Basically he doesn't care how you feel about it and he'll keep doing it.

This is the 5th time now, and he knows how I feel about it.

What he knows is that it doesn't matter how many times he does it, because you'll stay anyway. Basically he doesn't care how you feel about it and he'll keep doing it.

This is the 5th time now, and he knows how I feel about it.

What he knows is that it doesn't matter how many times he does it, because you'll stay anyway. Basically he doesn't care how you feel about it and he'll keep doing it.