Wrong to want to chat w/ ex-husband?

[GoinSouth]

So I was married for 17 years.. I divorced HIM and we're both remarried 10 years plus.. we exchange the odd text mostly updating me about his parents health (dementia) and he goes to see my father occasionally.. but now and then I feel like just calling him once in a blue moon (as in once every few years) rather than via text - is this wrong? I know my husband would feel it is and ask why I would want to.. (ugh thinking about it - I'm probably answering my own question!).

Anyone else?

I don't think it's wrong. I speak very occasionally to my ex from before DH. We also message about every two months on Facebook. Just catch ups...DH is fine with it because it's rare and we were together for years...and he was close to my family and is still friends with my brother.

I think your issue is with your husband not your friendship with your ex.

I don’t think so. If the relationship ended relatively amicably and you’ve since moved on then I think it’s perfectly normal to occasionally think of your ex fondly and want a catch up.

I suppose it depends on your model of relationships and break ups as well as your personality. Somebody who has only had experience of relationships ending in a blaze of fury and being terribly bitter and hating their ex partner’s guts probably won’t be able to understand that you can break up with somebody amicably and have no desire to ever want to be with them again, yet still care for their well-being and value that you shared a history. Likewise, people who are very jealous and possessive won’t be able to stand the idea that their partner had a sexual and romantic history before them and will want to erase any suggestion of it.

If your husband generally jealous? Does he try to control your contact with other men? Are you happy with him?

No, my husband is not the jealous type but probably won't understand (maybe he will but I've not asked him.. ).. he would be curious to know why I felt the need to but wouldn't be angry or anything like that.. just not his nature. He's very tolerant.