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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Light-hearted conversation topics?

6 replies

Jellyfish18 · 12/05/2021 09:50

Separated from DH in January during lockdown and he wants us to make another go of things. I'm being extremely cautious and we are currently going for walks and the odd date.

Tomorrow evening we're going to a restaurant for dinner and I'm over-thinking discussion topics. It would be easy for me to beging talking about what he needs to change before we get back together, but I'd like the evening to be more light-hearted and enjoyable to see if we can still get along.

It would also be very easy to talk about the DCs as we don't see each other too often anymore there's always a lot that I want to discuss.

He finds it difficult to switch off from work which is a big cause of the separation too, but I don't want him to bore me with work comversation either. We work in a similar role so it would be easy for that to happen.

I'm sat here wondering what we will possibly talk about and would welcome some ideas? I wouldn't usually try to control conversation but I don't want it to be another relationship-admin chat.

OP posts:
PussGirl · 12/05/2021 09:53

This makes me think of that Monty Python sketch where the waiter gives the boring couple who have nothing to chat about a list of topics

Sad
PussGirl · 12/05/2021 09:55

Do you have any interests in common outside work?

Have a look at the lesser sections on news websites for bits about art, wildlife, whatever you fancy & try to drop them in.

Any plans for trips out, walks etc?

ravenmum · 12/05/2021 09:56

He's the one who wants you to get together, and you are the one brainstorming ideas for how to stop him boring you with work talk?

Hotcuppatea · 12/05/2021 10:02

This is a chance to see if you can connect again on a deeply personal level. Why not try sharing stuff around personal hopes and goals for the next few years. It doesn't have to be heavy, but can be things like places you want to visit when Covid goes away, any sports or hobbies you want to take up/revisit, whats made you laugh and be happy in the last months and any learning you want to do. Paint him a picture of the kind of person you are now, who you want to be and the life you want to lead. Ask him about those things too.

Consider it a preamble to the 'what needs to change' conversations that are coming.

OrchestraOfWankery · 12/05/2021 10:04

Why are you bothering? Just because he wants to? It all sounds very strained. He's not going to change overnight into a stimulating dinner companion, let alone a life partner.

ravenmum · 12/05/2021 10:10

Reminds me of a news article I read recently, though - not sure if it was this one or something similar:
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/14/love-is-getting-answers-right-to-36-questions

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