Would this be an issue for you?

[laa88]

I'm interested to see whether it would be an issue for you if the man you were with has his children on the opposite weekends that you had yours? We've not been together that long so haven't met each other's DC yet. I hadn't really thought about it until now, but would this be a reason for you to reconsider progressing things?

If it got serious I'd ask him to swap weekends or you swap yours. I think I'd soon get bored of never having free weekends

Well it's not very convenient, is it? But wouldn't it make more sense to see if either of you could adjust your routines with your ex's before throwing out the whole idea of seeing each other?

Sorry I should have said in my original post - I can't swap weekends due to my ex's work, and my partner has said he wouldn't ask his ex to swap as he basically doesn't want to rock the boat (not his words, but that was the general gist of it!)

If neither of you can swap then it would be an issue for me. He seems more bothered about appeasing his ex than having time with you

If he puts his ex's feelings above yours then it's not going to work plus it'll set the tone for your whole relationship. Why on earth would it 'rock the boat' there's no harm asking is there?
The only other solution would be for your ex to change his working hours.

Oh yeah, one of the upsides of having child free weekends is that you can pursue relationships without complications and have nice dates/days together as a couple.

If that's not even worth him asking, I couldn't be arsed. It'll tempt you into rushing the children meeting and getting all domestic too soon.

I'd nope out.

It would be a massive issue for me. I was in a similar position our weekends were in sync and we had some lovely child free time together - then they fell out of sync and he did not mention changing them or seemed bothered. (turned out he was seeing someone else ) So when do you get to spend time together if the kids have not met each other ?

@sunrayscome We've both been working from home so when the kids have been at school we've been able to see each other a bit, although we're both going back to our respective offices soon. My ex has needed to swap a couple of weekends due to work as well so have seen him then (although that rarely happens with my ex).

Its difficult - my ex swaps the weekends for his convenience but if I asked he would refuse. He got wind that I was in a relationship and spending child free weekends together so he swapped the weekends on purpose so that it made things difficult.
If the arrangement suits you at the moment keep it as it is - It is still important for you to have 'me time' on your child free weekends.

That would be a no go for me. I think it’s very important to meet up for dates without children

He's either not interested enough to do that or too scared of his ex. Either way it doesn't bode well.

I'm on the fence on this. I personally probably wouldn't change the access pattern with my children/ex until I was sure the relationship was fairly stable/serious but I understand it is hard to figure that out if you can't spend a decent chunk of time with him.

Perhaps you could agree a timeline with him where you carry on as you are for now but review with a view of him asking his ex at an agreed point in the future?

This is really difficult for you as I can see both sides. I have ended a relationship in early days due to this exact thing. We never got time to go out together or have a weekend away due to childcare and we were both unable to change this due to ex's working patterns and shifts so both decided it would never work unfortunately.

If he darent rock the boat to have a proper relationship then it’s not worth pursuing