Co parenting relationship

[Surroundedbypenisesandglitter]

Has anyone had a relationship that has progressed to having children but not living together? I have been ‘seeing’ someone for a while, we’re more friends than boyfriend and girlfriend and we haven’t labelled it but it has progressed like a relationship and I know he wants more, he has spoken about marriage before. There’s a chance I’m pregnant after changing my pill I didn’t consider I might not be fully protected. I’m now just overthinking the situation what would happen if I am pregnant and what sort of co parenting arrangement we’d need. I do like him and we always have a great time together but I don’t want a heavy relationship and I certainly don’t want to live with a man ever again. I care about him, we have great chemistry and we’d probably make a great couple. I don’t want to hurt him I just want to keep things as they are after being a long term single parent I’m happier in my own bubble and even if he stays over I feel uncomfortable. Can this work or is it unfair on children? Can anyone give me stories of their set up like this? And yes I know I could be thinking about something that isn’t going to happen but it’s something I need to decide in the long run.

Does he have any other children? Im hoping you're not pregnant as you need to find out if HE wants to be a single parent. It's easy for the mum as they don't miss out on much, but the dads usually do, and that can be hard, even harder for him seeing as he's already expressed he wants a future with you.

He does have a son with his ex. I told him I’m happy to have a family type set up for all the children so he dosnt feel like he’s sharing custody with an ex and the children get to build a proper bond. I just don’t want the pressure of a relationship or having a man live in my house with me and my children. I would be upset and jealous if he met someone else, I can’t deny that, maybe it’s just my commitment issues from my exes I’m not sure. I do know I’m happiest in my own space without a man living with me though. I can’t be the only one surely?

Me! Been together 7 years, have a 3 year old together. I have other kids as well and it just works. He has quite a demanding job and literally just goes home to sleep. Child is my responsibility day to day and he financially pays for them. Gets on great with my other kids and there is no domestic drudgery to get in the way. He has a child that stays with him EOW and I don't have room at mine for him to stay too.
To an outsider it looks like he has a great cushty set up but he does miss out on a lot. Child called him their favourite brother the other day as have no idea what a daddy does, it's the same amount of responsibility as brother or nanny.
But I love living on my own, I like my space and if I want an evening to myself I just say and he'll go home. Get the bed to myself and can decorate how I want. Kids are settled. At some point we'll all live together but for now it just works how it is.

I had a similar thing as in I got pregnant early on in the relationship and decided to carry on dating but we didn’t live together, sorry to say but the resentment set in, he would come and go as he pleased whilst I was left to do all the hard work, I started to feel resentful as he would disappear back to his for days at a time but I didn’t get that break as he would only come to mine to see her but wouldn’t take her to his, so I never got a break. He use to say coming to mine was like a holiday 🤔 Maybe it can work for others though.

Child called him their favourite brother the other day as have no idea what a daddy does

Jesus wept.

@PollyPepper yes, I agree. That's what I meant by he misses out. Daddy is a name and not a functional role in this house. It's one of the downsides that the OP needs to consider.

Thanks for the replies I’m glad it’s not just me that prefers to live alone, the way I see it we probably get on so well because we don’t live together. The usual things that got to me by living with my ex have put me off going through it again. It’s also my children’s home and I don’t want them feel trapped into sharing it with someone who isn’t their dad. I know many do and it works I just don’t feel comfortable with the idea. I think I will have to speak to him and make it clear whatever happens we can’t live together, I just feel guilty in a way.