Hiya. I think I'm embarrassed, ashamed or enlightened.. Not sure which. Wanting reassurance or shouting at for being a fool...
OK, been chatting with a guy online for about 6 months. Haven't met with him due to covid. However he drove for 4 hours come see me on Sunday. He said before he came that it would be better if he could stay overnight at mine coz of the distance. I said that was fine, I have a spare bedroom.
Ah well, he arrived, nice guy. Went for a meal, chatted. Spent the day together, watched a film in the evening. No touching, kissing or anything, just polite chit chat.
Bedtime... I showed him his bedroom, he mentioned my bed looked comfy....
I'm divorced 3 years. Not had sex during that time. I was a bit flummoxed. So I lay with him on his bed for a cuddle before I went to my bed. All it took was for him to kiss me, stroke my back... And I was like a wild animal... Poor chap. Anyway we fucked. Not brilliant, he couldn't come, his hand pressure was too heavy for me to come... Kind of gave up in the end.
I slept in my bed. Next day, back to polite chat, had breakfast, he went home. We made plans to see each other in a month or so. We're in different countries, in Europe, and with covid etc, plans are hard to make.
On the one hand, I'm thrilled that I still have sexual feelings, which I thought were dead (I'm 60), on the other hand.. I feel a bit sick.. He hadn't paid me any compliments, there was no sentimental chat before or after.. All felt a bit empty really.... And he couldn't come...
Not sure whether to continue our polite conversations on the phone, ramp it up a bit now, or try to find someone more local to have a proper relationship?