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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Trying to gauge his interest

9 replies

Catchingup12 · 11/05/2021 14:58

Hello mumsnetters,
A guy I used to go to school with contacted me some weeks ago and we have been messaging most days. It's been nearly 20 years since I last saw him! He initiates contact every day, if not, every couple of days. And it’s nonstop – we message all day long, he asks lots of questions, and shares a lot about his life – very intimate things too, like about his divorce few years ago, what he’s learnt in therapy about relationships, his search for jobs, family, job interviews etc. He has made a few flirty comments, such as me sorting out his garden as he’s recently moved, and how he’d be the judge of something related to my looks. We message nonstop for hours. If I don’t reply for a while, he follows up with another message to keep the conversation going. Has shared lots of photos of home, family etc.
He initially said if I were in the neighbourhood where we grew up, I should let him know if I wanted to go for a drink. First couple of weekends, I was busy. Then we talked about it, but never set a date. I started to think he wasn't bothered, but then I thought, we've had such a nice time catching up, it would be a shame not to meet. So, finally, I said come on let’s go for that drink this week, and he said this week is awesome, because he is able to finish work early. Today he followed up and asked when, and what time. So I suggested tomorrow, and a time because weather is looking dry. Then I asked if we need to make a booking, but he said we don’t need to.
I can’t judge whether he is interested in more than just friends, I guess there is no way of telling until we actually meet because we haven’t seen each other in years. I suspect he used to fancy me though, he may not now though and vice versa. But the way our meeting is being arranged, it doesn’t feel like a ‘date’.
I know I am overthinking, just wanted to get this off my chest and share my nervousness about meeting!
It's been such a long time since I've dated, and he seems so nice.

OP posts:
seensome · 11/05/2021 16:47

Definitely interested in you not as friends, he wouldn't put so much effort in otherwise. I guess he's thinking the same as you, to see if the spark is still there when you meet before pursuing you further

Sillysandy · 11/05/2021 18:26

Interesting! I guess neither of you can really know if there's attraction there till you meet but definitely got potential.

Gilda152 · 12/05/2021 15:20

He's interested in seeing if there's a spark with you. Go along as an old friend having a catch up and an opportunity for a bit of socialising and see how it goes.

AryaStarkWolf · 12/05/2021 16:01

@Gilda152

He's interested in seeing if there's a spark with you. Go along as an old friend having a catch up and an opportunity for a bit of socialising and see how it goes.
yup this
Gilda152 · 12/05/2021 16:21

He's interested in seeing if there's a spark with you. Go along as an old friend having a catch up and an opportunity for a bit of socialising and see how it goes.

Catchingup12 · 12/05/2021 23:56

Wow there was no spark! He even seemed a little standoffish but asked lots of questions. He’s totally lost all of his looks which is a shame. I don’t think he found me attractive either. We are too different as people. What a shame Grin

OP posts:
Catchingup12 · 13/05/2021 00:37

I wish I could have told him how much I fancied him before

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 13/05/2021 12:52

@Catchingup12

Wow there was no spark! He even seemed a little standoffish but asked lots of questions. He’s totally lost all of his looks which is a shame. I don’t think he found me attractive either. We are too different as people. What a shame Grin
ah well, at least you gave it a go anyway!
IJustWantSomeBees · 15/05/2021 18:39

I'm glad there was no spark OP, from what you said he had some major red flags!

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