I thought I had met a good man. He seemed such a healthy normal man. 3 years out of a ten year relationship. Two adult daughters. Told me he was even a grandad now to a baby. I have a 3.5 and 7 year old so we chatted about our children and he said because of his ex wife he missed out massively on his kids and will enjoy a chance to be apart of things in the future when the timings right if we get to that stage.
He worked full time. Had his own rented house. Told me he left everything with his last ex including his dog as he didn't like her being alone. They were on good terms still which made me think he was even more of a normal nice guy. I must admit her regular texts and nipping round for coffee had me abit unsure as I was fairly in the dark about her. She knew about me but wasn't giving him much space to move on.
We had a really nice few months and we laughed at the same things. Agreed on alot of things in conversations. We both liked a fairly peaceful life. I like going out more than he does. But not partying as such. Just days out, shopping and seeing friends. We exchanged love you and we're supposed to be officially a couple. But it was like he never truly acted like we were. I started thinking he wasn't over the ex. But also he was flirtatious online and sometimes I was quite annoyed at his lack of respect in that way.
I started to notice he didn't see anyone. One of his adult kids had cut out contact again and I found out he hadn't seen the baby. She was no longer on his social media. The other daughter seemed to try to keep in touch via phones but didn't visit. His ex wife from 16 years ago was still texting him warning him to be a decent parent and not to lean on her anymore. His mum and dad were no longer speaking to him or his sister and her family.
Our first Christmas he opted out. Said he never celebrated. He literally spent the day alone. Refused to say why he hated christmas so much. But he saw nobody at all. He hadn't met my kids and my Christmas carried on as normal. We celebrated and I enjoyed it. But I must admit I was starting to feel abit suspicious of him. He seemed very miserable. Didn't even have a Christmas card in his house. He was literally like the Grinch.
Over January and February this year he ended up loosing money as a dodgy friend of his had done something dodgy in his name. I don't want to write exactly what but he was innocent and all he was guilty of was mixing with a dodgy type for a few weeks to get some work! Never the less he couldn't get to pay day so I lent him £50 for food. He gave me it back 3 days later. Then The next week he borrowed £30. Gave me it back. Then eventually I lent him £180 and said keep it for a month l, build back up and then give me it.
A month ago everything came out. This man is so many things I didn't realise. His ex is still his friend but the real reason they split Was she had bailed him out for years with money. He was never on the mortgage it was all her house. He was an alcoholic until 4 months before meeting me. He was always drunk and flirting with other women. Had been sacked for being drunk at work. Eventually she caught him having sex with another woman and found out he was planning on starting a life with this woman through messages. This woman was dumped a a few weeks later and after his ex didn't want him back he left the house. He's somehow kept her close which is odd and explains the strange way he mentioned her but it didn't add up. I could always sense he still hadn't gotten over her but he claimed she wasn't very nice.
We split because I had questions and he didn't want to be honest.
He's paid me back, blocked me on every platform. Accused me of being insecure and causing us to split.
He had started being abit nasty to me anyway. Comments on my clothes. My intelligence and the way I spent my time due to being a mother. He was also on opiates and wasn't taking them as recommended. His mood swings were allover and I often noticed he had no food in hardly. Some weeks he would cook the odd meal. But the rest of the time it was toast or takeaway.
I was never ever with him for money but it was quite off putting that he had no savings despite working. Not even abit incase an appliance broke. He was always buying clothing though. I started realising he had nothing to show for his life. His car had been off road for months. He has no mortgage. No decent furniture. No family in his life.
A mutual friend has told me he's now speaking to a lady in her early 50s. She's the 5th woman he's gotten close to since his ex dumped him. She lives further away and hasn't yet met him it seems.
He's well and truly got over me and has no conscience about the lies, borrowing my money or lying to me about the future.
Just don't understand why he wasted my time.
Just wanted to talk. Having a day where I'm feeling quite down remembering all the good times.