Are you excited about a new potential love interest? Come share your story :)

[aurynne]

I thought I would start a thread of nice stories for us single ladies who have met someone with potential and are in early stages or "could be, who knows".

Some months ago I shared a thread on MN about my separation a year ago and a fantastic friend I met shortly after who helped me through it, and who became an amazing FWB with which I have a great friendship and intimate connection. At the time I posted I was trying to get some distance between us as we had both developed feelings for one another but a relationship was not possible, as he desperately wants children (and I desperately don't).

For the last months my FWB and I have successfully created some space while still seeing each other as friends, occasionally as lovers but not in such an obsessive way as before. He is now planning to move to another country for a fresh start, and although I will miss him crazily (both emotionally and physically, we are bloody amazing in bed!), it does feel like the right decision for him and for me, so we can both move on with our lives.

3 months ago I started online dating, not because I really was looking for a relationship, but mainly to create some distraction from my FWB and meet some more people. I have met a number of lovely men, not as many crazy stories as when I did OLD in my late 20s-30s, but none of them have really brought on the butterflies-in-my-belly feeling. This could be a combination of not finding the right person, and also, as I am very aware of, still having feelings for my FWB.

Recently, through a hiking FB page, I met a man with whom I went on a hiking trip. There were no expectations at all of anything, I had never met him before, he just posted asking whether anyone would like to join a hike up a nearby mountain I had not been to before. 4 people responded including me, however the others pulled out at different stages so this man and I ended up going together.

He is 4 years older than me, but honestly looks 10 years younger. He is tall, handsome and has a sexy foreign accent, he appears to be kind, share the same sense of humour with me, many of my interests, is separated from his partner for 3 years so far and has a lovely little boy he shares custody with. On the Saturday of the hiking weekend we stayed at a stunning camping site side by side, cooked dinner together, had a glass of wine and were amazed by the beautiful starry sky at night. The night could not be any more romantic if I had booked it in advance.

However, something in me was reluctant to try anything that night. It appeared too perfect. I was not ready for romance. He probably is not really interested (although in truth he was giving all the right signs!). All sorts of excuses in my head. Obviously I was not in the right frame of mind.

Nothing happened that night, and on Sunday we went up the mountain together. Again, great conversation, laughter, beautiful day and great memories.

Since then, he has kept in touch in a really respectful way. Not pushy. Not forcing himself on me. Not sending a thousand messages, but not letting too many days go by without at least a nice message. I am finding myself thinking of him during the day and looking forward to seeing him again.

Since the hiking trip, I had him around for coffee one day (yes, really just coffee :) and he joined me and some friends for a movie last week. My heart did beat a bit faster when he turned up for the movie.

He is always enthusiastic about joining anything I suggest and makes himself available or suggests alternative days/things to do if he is not.

This week he has invited me to join him for Comedy Night on Friday. I followed my instinct and told him that if he paid for my ticket, I would buy him a drink in a nice trendy bar before the show.

I am so, so looking forward to Friday!

I have no idea if this will go anywhere or not, but I am so bloody excited that there is a new person who has my interest, and an honest chance of him being interested too.

I thought I would share this with you and ask for your exciting stories. Is there anyone in your radar who looks promising? Would you share it with me and follow up to see how things evolve?

How wonderful for you that you’re experiencing all these wonderful feelings of excitement and hopefulness. Sounds like a great start. Not rushed, very respectful. The stuff of dreams.

Let us know what happens on Friday!

Aah so exciting! As a PP said sounds like a dream in the way he is treating you - a respectful manner etc. Hope you have a great time on Friday and yes an update would be fab.

I have this niggling voice inside me saying "don't get too excited, this sounds too perfect". Two days to go

(I live on the Southern Hemisphere so it's Wednesday here already)

Sounds just the distraction you need. Hope it goes well

What a wonderful start to hopefully a great relationship. There are few perfect moments in life but that first meeting/outing sounds one of them. Stop thinking it's too good to be true and instead go with the flow.

I'm starting something with an ex I last saw about 3yrs ago. A lot of water under the bridge so hoping things work out this time. We are so compatible it's crazy. I'm excited and nervous. Next date Thurs.

Exclusively online dating my guy for 3 months. We can finally move around our counties and we are meeting next week :)

@ItsNotLoveActually oooooh so exciting! What's changed in him since last time if you don't mind me asking? Please come back on Thursday and update. Where are you meeting? _

@SwordofGryffindor so next week is the first time you're going to meet him in person? I definitely want to hear about that too!

aurynne - last time we dated I hadn't long separated from my DH (4yrs ago) so I just wasn't in the right head space. He is a shift worker and had 3 DC at home. I had 1. Finding time to date was difficult for him. We split. Over the yrs we contacted each other inbetween seeing others but it was never the right time. Our situations have improved and we're both now single. I'm going to his village for a walk and lunch then he's coming back to my town for a few drinks and will stay over. Seems a lot for a 2nd date but really it's a more like a 10th, lol.
SwordofGryffindor - 3 months is quite a build up to a first date. Have you been facetiming? Can't wait to hear about it.

@aurynne @ItsNotLoveActually We have date nights once or twice a week watching line of duty cause hes never seen it. We do calls every few days and text every evening and audio eachother. Meeting next week yes 🥰🥰

We had our date and it was great. Talked loads. I felt so comfortable with him. He genuinely seems to have changed for the better. We did end up having quite a few drinks so didn't DTD, which we were able to laugh about next morning. But earlier in the evening we discussed sex and how it was between us and I got incredibly turned on (sorry tmi) as he's one of only 2 men that I've been able to have PIV orgasms with and I'm in my 50's!! I honestly thought that side of things was over for me.
@SwordofGryffindor - sounds like a great balance of communication. You must be so excited for next week!

@ItsNotLoveActually sounds great 😃

So excited yes. Im 29 and hes 33 and both want the same things 🥰

@aurynne how was it??

@ItsNotLoveActually that's so exciting and so much to look forward to!

My date was a bit... meh. Nothing wrong with it, it was fun, we talked, he's very sweet, but... I made the mistake of seeing my FWB the day before. When I think I have managed to see my FWB just as a friend with sex on the side, the feelings resurface and I realise I am not there yet. I am hoping that when he leaves (in about a month), the fact that he is not there and available will help me move on faster. We have such a strong sexual connection, that the other issue that I will have is, unless a new man is really, really good in bed I'm going to be disappointed. So I am reluctant to even try.

So my new date is everything I could want... except I do not have the feelings. At least I didn't on Thursday. He is very keen on meeting again and I am considering telling him that at the moment I am only after something casual so I can take things slowly without pressure and see where things go at a slow pace.

Sigh...

So mine's a bit complicated :) I'm 47 and have lost 2 stone over lockdowns and have spent a lot of time getting in shape and for the first time in my life am enjoying attention from men.

I met someone online last summer, met up once, had a great time ;) but then he wasn't looking for a relationship. I met someone else, that didn't work out and in January he got in touch again. We've met up 3 times since, purely as a hook-up scenario, but it is the best sex of my life, the sexual chemistry is insane. He is 9 years younger than me and lives about 40 minutes away, so will only ever be the hook-up setup, but he makes my stomach flip every time I see him. He is incredibly generous in bed and when I see him we spend hours in bed, it is literally how I would fantasise about a perfect night with someone I fancy to pieces.

As I didn't want to get hung up on him I have been chatting to others online, met a few for coffee, none that really float my boat, until I met one last month, again was purely as a one off hook-up, although we sat and chatted for hours and he is now another fwb scenario. Again he is 9 years younger than me and very good in bed ;)

Last week I met someone for coffee, and he was much more like relationship material. A really nice, respectful guy, quite nervous, my age, but just didn't make me giddy like the other two do, although I have only met him the once. I was honest with him about where I'm at, he's happy to build a friendship, he was keen on me.

So I'm very very lucky that I have two very hot guys on the go, part of me wishes I'd met the third further down the line as I would love a proper relationship, but I don't think I could get the other two out of my head just yet even though I know neither of them will go anywhere. So I have decided not to chat with anyone else at the moment as its not fair if I have the first two in my head.
Not sure really why I've posted all that, none of them are going to go anywhere, but the excitement when I hear from them or am meeting up with them is incredible :)

@thesnailandthewhale you go girl!!! Congratulations on losing that weight and getting sizzling hot . Obviously you're reaping the rewards!

It's hard not to feel giddy when you find someone who you really connect sexually, isn't it? I know my FWB and I will never be in a relationship (he wants kids and I don't) but what you know and how you feel are two very different things.

Thank you Aurynne, they are both, without doubt, the hottest guys I've ever had in my life, the first one has a smile that makes me melt, the second one has abs to die for :) They are both really nice guys too, way out of my league but I'm loving it while it lasts :)

@aurynne and @thesnailandthewhale - the thing that stands out with both of you is that you have these casual/FWB but are looking for something more. It's going to be so much harder for you to find someone to have a proper relationship with as you'll always be comparing them in some way and not giving them a proper chance. I know, I've been there. It is possible to find someone who ticks all your boxes. aurynne - keep seeing the new guy as it sounds great and a slow burn anyway. It's still early days. thesnailandthewhale - keep enjoying the great sex as it's a new found freedom for you. When the novelty wears off, you'll be ready for something more permanent.

MrSolid popped by after work. He was here for 10mins chatting to my DS before I realised, which was really nice. We had a chat. He's really really keen. I'm the same but I think I'm a lot more laid back than I used to be and he's finding it difficult to read me. I think I just need to tell him somehow that I have this sense that we're so right for each other and everything will work out. I probably need to up my game and I guess I'm still amazed that my text out of the blue to him has had such an amazing result!

@ItsNotLoveActually thank you for your insight. I am not sure I am looking for a serious long-term relationship, but I would indeed like to have someone around for whom I was a priority, and that was going to stay for a bit in the country. However, having said that, I have a house, a professional job and I am an independent woman and I do like my life right now. A new bloke would have to accept that and have his own house to live in, not expect to move in or for me to move in with him. And he would have to respect my independence and boundaries, I am nobody's mum and nobody's carer, I expect an equal partner who has his own interests, hobbies and friends. So if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, I'd rather be happily single than settle.

MrSolid looks like a good prospect too! Keep him guessing is my advice, there is no woman more attractive and intriguing for a man that one who he is not sure whether she is available.

By the way, I have met MrSweet today again in a social setting and felt the butterflies again! I think Thursday I was not really being myself. Today, even though my FWB was also at the social event (I know, I know, the plot thickens) I could feel my interest in MrSweet growing again. One thing I like about him is, he puts no pressure and respects my wishes and boundaries.

@aurynne - I really think you can have a relationship without moving in and merging your lives. It's 'living apart together'. It's certainly my aim too until I retire/DS leaves education. Lol at your 2 men at the same event! Did you know that was going to happen? How did you handle it?

@ItsNotLoveActually yes, both FWB and I were going and I invited MrSweet to come too :). My FWB knows I am interested in this guyn and he actually wanted to meet him. MrSweet knows about FWB as a friend only, the situation is too complex to explain at this stage and would certainly be too much for a potential love interest. This is starting to sound like a romcom, I know.

FWB and I are both free, our friendship and extras are not stopping us from looking for others for sex/relationships. In fact he is looking for the mother of his children, and would be happy for me if I found my significant other (we'd both miss the amazing sex we have, but hey, there are other priorities in life). We both have feelings for one another but know it is not possible to get this relationship anywhere so we both have interest in finding someone else, even if it's something casual as a distraction.

@aurynne - sorry, I somehow missed your reply!
It does indeed sound like a romcom! Have you seen any more of new guy since?
I've saw MrSolid earlier this week, not really a date, just a bit of shopping as we both happened to be free during the day. Was supposed to be seeing him tonight to go 'out out' but the weather's been horrid so I cancelled. I just didn't want to stay in and watch TV with him. I can watch TV any time! He agreed with me and said he'd rather wait and spend quality time together. I guess I had my fingers burnt with my ex, seeing him every other day during lockdown and doing nothing. Thing is, I don't know if I'd ever be ready to live with someone again. I've been 4 yrs on my own (apart from DC) and actually like my own company! I do like adult company, but in small doses. Sorry, just rambling now, lol.

Met my guy tonight. Adore him. 💗

@SwordofGryffindor - great update. Was it the first time you actually met him in the flesh?