Coercive abuse

[Helpmeplease12334]

Hi, I’m looking for some advice. I was with my child’s father for 4 years; he mentally abused me the whole time and has continued to do so 2 years on. Last year he provoked me on 2 occasions and I hit him. I am by no means violent ive never hit anyone other than him. I was just trying to assert some control after now 6 years of mental abuse I didn’t know what else to do. He will lie to everyone and make out I’m ‘physically abusive’ although he’s just still coercively abusing me and trying to turn people on me because I’m trying to leave the situation. Will my case hold up in court even though I’ve hit him after he provoked me? I fear he his also using my daughter and mentally abusing her too. I’m building up my evidence to get him convicted so no other women have to fall
Victim to this man. What can I do? I fear I won’t be believed as he’s very convincing and sly. Some advice please?

I understand how hard it is. I left a coercive controller seven years ago but he still won't leave me alone. He's even managed to alienate the kids so I just have then every other weekend.
The biggest problem is providing evidence. Nobody wants to listen in my experience.

Can you write down incidents with times and dates he abused you?
Are there witnesses?
What did he do to provoke you to react physically? This would be reactive abuse, which an abuser does to make the victim seem like the crazy one.

Do you have somewhere to go when you leave? Make plans to get away from this man. As you have a child together, it would be difficult to go no contact but I'm sure someone with experience of this will be along to give you advice.

All the best.

Rather than evidence, your first priority should be to leave.

He is abusive your child, it's time to go.

If you haven't enough evidence by now then cut your loss and get out.

No matter what happens, he will abuse other women and there is nothing you can do to prevent this. Nothing.

Unless he was put to jail for physically assaulting you, in which case there might be some info in him if a person were to run claires law.

Take care of you and your kid. Speak to a solicitor about what you will be entitled to when you end things. And get the hell out of there.

Otherwise you will keep making excuses to wait.

@Umberellatheweatha It isn't thst easy sadly. He can request in cpurt 50/50 custody of his child as the father and is likely to be awarded it unless coercive control can be categorically proven (which is almost impossible). I speak from many years of experience.