I am so confused....
I developed a crush for a really nice and good guy and for months I was convinced the feeling was mutual but for reasons which are long to explain, he would not reveal his feelings and the same goes for me. It was just a platonic love and neither of us are in the position to be honest with each other and reveal our feelings to each other.
I started to observe that he would “glow” every time he sees me: he instantly smiles at me and he looks at me intensively. He seems very happy every time he sees me and somehow I have noticed he wants to spend time with me and learn more about me. There is a good chemistry between the two of us and it was precisely because of his attention to me that the have not gone away and has been so intense. Even one of my best friends told me she thought he likes me. In summary, I am 37 years old and I think at this stage of life a woman knows when a man is paying her special attention. Certainly I thought this was the case, a combination of his body language, the way he looks at me and his reaction when he sees me.
I recently learnt the guy in question is gay. I have many gay friends and I did not realise my crush was gay. I was shocked, a bit sad, not because he is gay, but because I was convinced he felt something special for me, ie that he fancied me.
Of course, he cannot fancy me sexually as he is a gay man. But I was wondering if a gay man can feel attracted to a woman, even if not sexually attracted. I just can’t understand all these signs I observed during months and months. I wonder if I have to resign myself to the fact that, despite my age and experience I did not read the signs properly, and basically he does not fancy me, or alternatively even if he is gay he may still feel some sort of attraction which would explain all the signs I spotted during the last 6 months.
I know I have to move on but I feel so frustrated....