Mid 30 woman dilemma

[ChanCK]

Hi all, this is my first time creating a new thread in this platform as really want to talk to someone.

I broke up with my long term boyfriend during the first covid lock down whom I planned to build a family with. I couldn't stand his hot temper and his verbal abusive yelling when he was angry. Currently I am still living with him as we are sorting out the flat we bought together.

I met this guy A last year in an online platform and we have seen each other constantly since then. I really like him, his sense of humour, his drive, physical attraction etc. However he has been really distance from me recently and he told me because of 2 reasons

1st he told me he do not like they fact that I am still living with ex, I told him it will take times because we are dealing with the lease of the flat etc. He said he want to stay distance from me until I sort this out 100% ( this is his biggest concern)

2nd he rejoined specials force recently and he is going to deployment in a dangerous country next month, I asked how long would it be? he do not even know when will it finish. It might be a long project. ( this is my biggest concern) He love his job and he would ever quit his job because of relationship

I really like him but at the same time I really want a family soon, I was talking to one of my friend who is 39, she had done 5 times IVF and still not able to be pregnant because of her age. I am worried I will become like that. I am thinking to freeze my eggs as I do not wanna rush to find a random guy to get marry. However I understand the success rate of IVF can be very low as well.

My friend told me to meet more men as I just become single, I did went on a few dates with different men last month via Dating app but I just did not find the same connection and I miss A all the time.

Due to the sensitivity of his job, I couldn't share this with anyone around me. It would me much appreciated if anyone can share your perspective.

OP I wouldn't wait to see if it works out with this man. I would work on taking action. If I wanted a baby, then I would speak to my GP or visit a fertility clinic and see about a sperm donor.

Even if you meet someone, there's no certainly it will all work out. I think your friend is right in that you should put yourself out there and be clear about what you want, so you don't get dicked about. Dating is a numbers game so you just need to plough through it with a thick skin as it can be difficult. That needs to be one strategy, now things are opening up get out and about as much as you can. Cafes, walks, online classes etc get out there and flutter those eyelashes.

Have you made VERY clear to the special forces man that you want to.marry and have kids within (X number of years)? He may just be looking for something casual (which is very likely if he knows he's leaving the country with no fixed return date) but wants to string you along.

Don't waste your time or headspace on someone who's just going to use you for sex. Having sex with him is also a VERY bad idea as all the hormones will.be bonding you emotionally to him and messing with your ability to make a rational decision.It's a red flag for your life plans that you already know he will prioritise this globe trotting job so I would just break up with him now if I were you and in the meantime speed up the house selling process. If you split in the 1st lockdown then it's already been about a year so what's the delay?? If it's not sold already then the price is too high. A house is only worth what people are willing to pay for it.

There's no way I'd be getting serious with anyone i met online who's still living with their ex after a year. It would be a red flag tthat the person may still be with that person but they're cheating, or they may be hanging on to see if they get back together. No normal.person would live voluntarily with an ex that long if they're serious about dating others.

*it's a red flag for your life.plans