Inconsistency from me and him...

[onlinedating23]

Just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation...

I met a man in March through online dating and we hit it off straight away. We were seeing each other 2-3 times a week (going for walks or I would go to his), we both commented on how much we enjoyed seeing each other... then for various reasons we stopped talking and seeing each other became inconsistent. I had some personal family issues and he said he had a 'weird' time going on, which lead to cancelling dates from both parties and lack of contact from both of us at various different points. I questioned how 'into' me he was (not directly to him, but to myself) and he has told me he did the same and wasn't sure how 'into' him I was.

He got back in touch over the weekend and we had a fabulous date on Saturday with dinner and drinks. He really treated me and insisted on paying for everything. We had the discussion about what was going on, he said he hadn't met anyone else since me and I was honest and said I had been on a few dates since him. We also bumped into some of his friends who he introduced me to, and he also told me that he has mentioned me to friends/family since meeting but wasn't sure where he stood with me. He's said he wasn't planning to see anyone else now we are talking again, and wants to see me tonight as well as another night this week. So pretty much going back to how we were when we first met in March.

I'm just wondering if anyone has had this sort of inconsistency at the beginning of the 'relationship' (I wouldn't class it as that just yet!) and gone on to have a serious relationship?

Yep. DH. We met online. Chatted a lot for a month or so. Went out for drinks and dinner, had a nice time. Kissed at the end of the date and agreed we'd do it again.

Then Christmas season started. Both our work schedules were mad. We pencilled in a day between Christmas and New Year and agreed we'd go to the cinema and for dinner. Got to the day and I wasn't feeling it. I'd had a shit Christmas, couldn't be arsed. Wanted to hibernate in my flat alone enjoying the peace. Decided I wouldn't text him but if he texted me I'd maybe make an effort to go out. He didn't text because, unbenownst to me he had a crappy time too, his flatmate had got locked out of his flat so he ended up doing a convoluted round trip with a spare key and at the end of it thought 'sod it' and stayed home.

Fast forward a couple of months and he sent me a link to a news story about a geeky thing we're both interested in and had talked about on our first date. I replied and chatting continued from there. We made allusions to meeting again but neither of us could really read from the other if we really into it or just being polite.

So first date mid-December. Second date mid- March. Ten years on we're married with two DC. He's the best man I've ever known.

Well, I'm about to give it another go - with a 2yr+ break.
Sometimes life gets in the way, you make a great connection with someone and for whatever reason it doesn't work. I think it's important to discuss what went wrong, so you know how each other felt. In your case it sounds like it was a breakdown in communication from both of you. Good luck this time round.

Yes - but we’re not quite at ‘serious’ relationship yet.
Got chatting through OLD in Jan 2020. Met for a date in the Feb. Got on like a house on fire and the chemistry was insane. Dated again in the Feb. Arranged to meet in the Feb but he cancelled due to work. We were meant to meet again just before lockdown but he bailed and said he wasn’t ready for a relationship. Then lockdown happened.
We sporadically messaged through lockdown but as mates. We met up again in the August but I just assumed it was FWB. Same again in the September. Then, in the October he asked me over for coffee and he asked what exactly we were. He said he really liked me but wasn’t sure I felt the same. I told him I really liked him but didn’t think he wanted a relationship. We’d both been playing it far too cool 🤦‍♀️ Decided to make a go of it and have been together ever since.
He lives 45 minutes away so it’s mainly eow when we don’t have the kids but recently we have been gradually started meeting with the kids for dog walks in the park, geocaching etc. And we’re planning to try and get together more as restrictions ease off.
It’s still early days but we adore each other and are talking about going on holiday with his kids and mine next year and we have even mentioned the possibility of maybe moving in together in a few years (by which time my eldest will be off to uni!)
So technically I’ve known him for 16 months but really we’ve only been together for 7 months.