When did you feel 'ready' again

[Newbie96]

Hey,

So I posted a thread a few months ago about a toxic breakup with someone I loved so deeply and I got an incredible reaction, with some of the best advice I could ever have imagined or hoped for.

I wanted to ask everyone, anyone with experience, how long it took for you to be 100% yourself again and I guess ready to 'mingle' after such an experience.

Now lockdown rules have been improved I have been spending time at weekends socializing with friends and as much as I love the time with them and having a laugh, I find myself with an empty pit in my stomach with the want to just go home, alone.

My friends also encourage and try to 'hook me up' with guys or at least get me talking to them and although they may be lovely, I struggle to keep up the conversation, as light-hearted as it may be because I'm just not interested. I think I'm simply not in the right place to even give them a chance.

Is this all normal and I will stop feeling like this won't I?

Thank you!!

I had my heart broken when I was about 27. It took me 12 months to get over it and another 12 months before I was ready to start thinking about being with anyone else.
Just take it easy, don't rush and hopefully better things are round the corner

I split with my ex 3 years ago(we were together 14 years), it took me until last year to be ready to date again. It wasn't until this March that I actually found a man I wanted to kiss,I did kiss and got intimate with. It felt nice and the right time for me (the head fuck afterwards wasn't expected but it turned out he wasn't quite ready for a relationship).

There is no time limit on when you are ready.

Thank you both so much!

So I guess for all of us it really is just a matter of when we realize we are ready and I'm so far from that stage.

I'll try not to overthink it so much but I'm glad to know I'm not a relationship/man hater after all lol.

Isitreallyme77 Sorry for your experience after feeling ready, I hope you are in a much better place now x

After my 20 year marriage it took me nearly 3 years to feel ready. But the next relationship I had after that was for a year and I was ready after about 8 months. There's no set time, you'll just know when you are ready. Good luck

@Newbie96 thank you, yes in a much better place.

You'll get there in your own time. Someone said to me you need to find out who you are now. It is very true. It's a whole new you. Someone will come along and you will just know it's right. Xx

Honestly i went through that phase after my worst break up where i thought getting with any guy that showed me attention would make me feel better and be “revenge”. I met my current partner only a couple months after the break up and wasn’t expecting it to get serious but here we are. In all honesty because of how quickly i tried to move on i have never truly gotten over my ex years later as i never actually gave myself the chance to be myself. Even though i love my partner to bits. My advice to my friends in similar situations is to just have time to yourself. It will be sad and you will be heartbroken but time is really a healer. Do not force yourself to hook up with guys your friends set you up with to please them as it will only make you feel worse (trust me). You will know in yourself when you’re ready to move on. If you want to meet guys, go for it but only do so if you feel emotionally ready!

Have a read of The Unexpected Joy of Being Single. You don't have to be committing to a life of being single, but learning to be comfortable single I think it a huge positive and could stop you rushing if your not ready. X