My STBX has just written the thread title in a letter to my solicitor and it has infuriated me, he also said my behaviour has been "erratic". I'm so annoyed by it, its so hard to deal with someone thinking they are this amazing upstanding person when really they are not.
He decided to leave nearly a year ago now, I realised very quickly there was no future so started divorce proceedings, he was financially abusive during the marriage and I decided I'd had enough.
Since he left he has repeatedly come to the family home and had long rants at me, threatening me with everything from social services to cutting off the gas/electric and broadband. Hes taken my laptop and turned the broadband off to prevent me from working. Also used CCTV to monitor my movements for months.
We are trying to work out the financial settlement and he wants me to settle for 35% of the total marital pot - meaning a smaller home for the children and their main home is much worse than what he can afford.
He came 2 weeks before Christmas and cleared out all of the living room furniture and many other daily items from the house - the phone, the curtains etc. With no consideration for how this would affect the children.
He then came a month later and took the TV off the wall - while our DD was watching it. Our DD was very upset about this (she has been exposed to many of the rants) she threw the remote control and broke it. He then threatened her with the police for criminal damage and spent ages telling her how she had done it and their relationship is over.
He is still paying the mortgage on the family home but has completely stopped any other payments (the mortgage is around 70% of what he would have to pay in CMS). He completely refuses to pay any additional money while we sort the divorce out. He has taken his name off bills and even got a refund on the council tax and tv licence so I had to pay massive bills! He has ensured that I have no access to any of the family savings and is claiming through his solicitor that he cannot afford to pay any maintenance (he has £190k in the bank alone). I asked him for a contribution towards a laptop for our DD while in lockdown and he refused as "he has finished bankrolling me".
Our DD hates him and will not spend any time with him at all. DS does go to him every other weekend. But this weekend he has not turned up to collect him, or contacted either of us. This is all to punish me because I dared to stand up for him and my solicitor threatened a non-mol and occupation order. But leaves our poor DS upset and bewildered as he doesn't know whats going on.
All I want is to get the divorce sorted, move out of this house and move on! Both kids deserve better and the last thing I want is for them to be stuck in the middle of this kind of behaviour.
I don't care what he does to me anymore, but how can I stop this affecting the kids so badly? How can I stop being so angry when he swans back in on his white horse like a disney dad to show how amazing he is!!