I met a man last summer. He seemed completely normal. Happy. Hard working. We got talking and realised we liked eachother with turned into 7 months of closeness and for a while I believed we would have the future we both had talked about.
I had already seen it on his social media that he had been in hospital several times just before meeting me. There were concerned posts on his wall. A cousin was answering people's questions and then there was him announcing he was home and alcohol free and determined to keep fighting. He told me in a chat a couple of weeks in he had swallowed a large amount of various pills. Text his ex and said I guess this is goodbye. She managed to call him and ring an ambulance from her housephone. He was very close to death when he was found and was in hospital for a month. Very sad.
I was aware from this point he had struggles. But we were enjoying chatting and laughed alot. We were not rushing in but we talked about perhaps some days out over the summer. He mentioned one day he could see us living together but there was no massive plans.
I started noticing he seemed abit too obsessed with his ex still. She had saved his life though so who was I to judge the closeness they had? But it became kind of clear a few months in that he was denying how much he still seemed invested in her. He would say until he was blue in the face he would never go back to her. Infact sometimes he spoke about her in quite an unkind way. He would soon go back to rose tints. In the last couple of months we were involved he was claiming she wanted him back. He kept moaning about her saying she was bored and driving him mad. But if I suggested she moved on and should be finding someone new herself he would get all possessive and said she was like his sister and he was so glad they were really close still. They had supposedly split because there grew apart! It's clear through Facebook that she went away without him several times a year and he said it made him feel really down.
Anyway we've split up now because he was starting to eye up other women. I was already suspicious of a particular woman he claimed stalked him. Then I caught him going through a woman's profile when I walked past him in the kitchen. He was not aware I had stood behind him as he had music on and this woman was half naked on the pictures he liked. He then started suggesting I wore clothes like hers in the bedroom (he didn't know I had seen) I went on her profile and saw he had liked every picture of her that was public.
Anyway after we split all the truths came out. His ex dumped him because he cheated on her with an old school flame. She told the old school flame it was the 8th time she had caught him up to no good. Six months later he moved out.
The old flame has spoken to me and we've realised he was "two timing" us both aswel. I've since clicked on that another woman he grumbled about had also suffered the same fate.
Now we are over he's moved onto another woman in a different town and she's falling for him.
I just don't understand? He's got depression. He's been an addict. He's lost the love of his life to cheating and lying. He wanted to die when he lost her and had to live alone. They've remained in this weird friendship so nobody else can be in his life properly. But he hides the truth. She knows he's attempting new relationships but won't move on herself and keeps clinging. So more and more women are getting hurt as he can only keep it up for a few months before he gets bored or cant handle it.
I just can't understand how he's survived and got his life back and this is the road he's taken.
Anyone who can understand this please help me to understand. I almost contacted his new woman. But I didn't because I'd look stupid. But I'm sad for her because of what she has got to come.
He was also lashing out at me with aggressive words. Borrowing money. Lying to me. Would not let me talk about how I felt. Shut me down. Putting me down with nit picking comments on my looks and intelligence.
He's got no family involved with him now either. Which kinda speaks for itself.
Not sure if anyone has been through similar?