Just needed a quick vent!

[ktj7]

As the title says, I just needed a quick vent! The plan was for my DP to come over today and bring his DS with him for a play date with my DS. DP has been telling me all week how much DSS is looking forward to it.

I woke up in the night with the most horrendous upset stomach (sorry). Wasn't a one off. I've started feeling nauseous now too, and a bit lightheaded.

I've just text DP to apologise and say we're going to have to postpone the play date due to how I'm feeling. Rather than text back that he's sorry to hear that, or he hopes I feel better soon, I've had a pretty crappy response saying how upset his DS is that they can't come over anymore, he's been excited about it all week, and isn't there a way it can still happen.

Not the response I was expecting after being together for 2.5 years. Vent over!

We're moving this thread over to our Relationships topic for the OP.

Hope you're feeling better soon, OP.

I don’t want to invalidate your feelings but I really don’t think what he said is that bad. Sure he could have said ‘sorry to hear that’. However, I do understand why he and his DS are disappointed if they’ve been looking forward to it all week and I don’t think it’s that left field to express that. I don’t think this is something to argue over.

I would just say ‘no can’t go ahead today. sorry DS is disappointed, we were looking forward to it too, but let’s rearrange for X’

Is he offering to take all kids out so you can rest?

Is THAT what he meant?

@autumnalrain That's pretty much what I replied word for word. His reply was basically saying how it has ruined DSS' weekend. No offer of taking my DS to his, and no sorry you're feeling poorly!

I've woken with exactly the same symptoms OP. Currently lying on the sofa, hoping I don't throw up and that the kids will look after themselves. Hope you're feeling better soon.
You'd think he'd be pleased you won't pass it on. I'm sure he's rather get over the disappointment than be poorly.

I wouldn't dignify it by responding to him.

Maybe he will realise it wasn't on and appologise.

How is he normally when you all are together? Does he expect you to run after his kid? Is it really him that is disappointed because he wont have his babysitter for the weekend?

Okay then he’s unreasonable not to offer to take you child to his if he’s that desperate for a play date

@Umberellatheweatha He never expects me to look after his son. I think the issue is that he bends over backwards to make sure DSS is never disappointed etc so it feels a bit like I'm getting blamed for this, even though it's due to me being ill.

It sounds like the comment about can we make it happen is him being aware of his son’s disappointment and wanting an option of how to get a meet-up in place - why didn’t you suggest he takes them both out or your son back to his?

Be a bit more obvious- "what a shame your DS is disappointed. Mine is, too. Why don't You take them both out? Obviously there's a risk of catching my bug, but of course that's better than the boys being disappointed"

See if he notices!

His comment about can it still happen, was actually him saying he still wanted to bring his DS over to my house. I've told him my DS had a very slight upset stomach this morning and his reply again was about how DSS is super disappointed.

@Blueskytoday06 Sorry to hear you're feeling unwell

It is great that he is invested in his child's feelings, but not to the detriment of everyone else's.
Lazy parenting, imo.

I'm not sure why he wants his son to catch something that will be highly contagious (as stomach bugs are!). Disappoinment happens and dealing with it a life skill - hrs being a knob!
I hope you feel better soon OP!