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Original poster

No sex ever again?

29 replies

Olivia1987 · 07/05/2021 22:42

To be honest I’d be quite happy to never have sex again in my entire life. Don’t get me wrong it’s not that I don’t enjoy it but it’s the fact I’m so exhausted by the end of the day and I just don’t want to be touched by anyone. I have a 2 year old who is absolutely crazy, who gets up before the crack of dawn and a boyfriend who always seems to get the lie ins. I haven’t had a lie since before my son was born.

My boyfriend is lazy. He’s grumpy when he’s tired (completely undesirable) so it leaves me to get up at 5:30am everyday as well as going to work and keeping the house tidy! Now if I explain this frustration to my boyfriend I get more moaning and I just can’t be bothered with it. He doesn’t understand one bit that by the end of another long day I don’t want to please him. I’d like to get some rest and sleep before I’ve got to get up and do it all over again.

He takes it extremely personally, and in some ways it is his fault. He isn’t always pleasant to be around. He moans at me and well sometimes I feel like I have two children a two year old and a stroppy teenager. Wow really inviting.

To be honest I’m so sick of it all. I want to feel good about myself. I want to feel rested and I want to be able to say no I don’t want sex without feeling guilty! How sad is that!!

From an exhausted mum who just needs a bit of care and attention before pleasing everyone else for once!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/05/2021 22:44

He’s lazy and grumpy? Why would you want sex with him?
He needs to pull his weight and stop acting like a gigantic manchild.
Or bugger off.

Original poster
Olivia1987 · 07/05/2021 22:46

Thank you!!! I’ve have said this to him so many times. Honestly urgh!! Try making me feel good for once just in general before thinking of your d*!!! Then making me feel guilty about it! Arse!!!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/05/2021 22:47

List jobs.
Decide who does what.
If he CBA then he can hire help.
You’re not there to please him.

Original poster
Olivia1987 · 07/05/2021 22:50

I’ve tried he goes to work and he seems to think that’s enough. Don’t get me wrong he works hard and he’s an amazing father but an absolute rubbish boyfriend! Again I have told him that. It doesn’t go in his thick skull!
Minimal effort. He’s not horrible to me but he isn’t always pleasant to be around. Sometimes (I hate myself for saying this) but sometimes I kind of wish he’d cheat because I wouldn’t have to bother with the sex then.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/05/2021 22:52

He’s not an amazing father if he’s treating the mother of his child like a general dogsbody and an unpaid prostitute.
He can either act like a partner. And maybe you’d actually feel more like having sex. Or leave.

Branleuse · 07/05/2021 22:53

Youre allowed to dump him. Why on earth wpuld you even want to have sex with a moody grumpy lazy manchild who guilts you into sex you dont want.

Gymsmile21 · 07/05/2021 22:55

Sex?
Too tired-
Your always tired!
Yes, because you don’t pull your weight, you should fix that.

End of conversation.

Cockenspiel · 07/05/2021 22:55

What is the point of him? Confused

Original poster
Olivia1987 · 07/05/2021 22:56

Well to my son he is a great dad. He’s amazing with him. Just not to me. He’s just selfish. So selfish when it comes to our relationship. I do so much for him and is as a family. No gratitude no appreciation. As if that would make anyone happy and sexually attached to you! Lol I do love him just not physically at the moment. Relationships are bloody hard work!

OP posts:
Original poster
Olivia1987 · 07/05/2021 22:57

Haha I think the same sometimes

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/05/2021 22:57

He’s not working at the relationship is he?
And no he’s not a good father. He’s leaving everything to you and being a shitty role model. Confused

category12 · 07/05/2021 22:57

What does he do that makes him an amazing father?

Does he actually do much of the grunt work of parenting? Or does he just makes your toddler laugh and swing him round a bit sometimes?

Original poster
Olivia1987 · 07/05/2021 22:58

@Gymsmile21

Sex? Too tired- Your always tired! Yes, because you don’t pull your weight, you should fix that.

End of conversation.

Wow you know!
OP posts:
RandomMess · 07/05/2021 22:59

Such an amazing father he's never got up with him in the mornings?

Embracelife · 07/05/2021 23:00

How is he so amazing if he never gets up with the child?
Being amazing between the hours of 10 and 4 is really not

Original poster
Olivia1987 · 07/05/2021 23:00

@category12

What does he do that makes him an amazing father?

Does he actually do much of the grunt work of parenting? Or does he just makes your toddler laugh and swing him round a bit sometimes?

Awww no he does the hard parts as well. He really does. It’s more about mine and his relationship I have the problem with. More respect for me as his girlfriend and mother to his child wouldn’t go amiss!
OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/05/2021 23:02

He doesn’t get up in the morning.
He doesn’t do housework
He moans and grumps.

He’s not doing much of the hard work.
Either he’s a good dad who pulls his weight or he’s a lazy cockwomble who needs to shape up and ship out.

charlie10k · 07/05/2021 23:02

Sorry but that is not a good relationship. Spell it out and get his agreement to contribute to more of the parenting and chores - or bail. He doesn't deserve you

Original poster
Olivia1987 · 07/05/2021 23:02

@RandomMess

Such an amazing father he's never got up with him in the mornings?
No not really. It’s always me who gets up with him. Once’s he up he’s full on dad mode though. They really do love each other. It’s lovely to see. I just wish he was a bit more considerate with me. Until he is I don’t see how he can possibly think I want to sleep with him
OP posts:
Original poster
Olivia1987 · 07/05/2021 23:03

@charlie10k

Sorry but that is not a good relationship. Spell it out and get his agreement to contribute to more of the parenting and chores - or bail. He doesn't deserve you
Yeh you’re right! So right. I just wish he’d talk more rather than getting defensive. Urgh!!!! Stupid man
OP posts:
category12 · 07/05/2021 23:06

Well, get him told then.

And stop killing yourself running around after him if he's not doing anything around the house. Stop doing his laundry as that affects no-one but him.

Tell him he can have a lie in one day of the weekend, and you'll have a lie-in the other day. And get the bastard up if he doesn't shift.

getyourfreakon · 07/05/2021 23:06

Point out to the manchild that letting you take the slack is extremely unappealing in the bedroom department when you're running on fumes and that you're not required to service him. Or get rid of the manchild and rediscover good sex with a decent man Wink

Aquamarine1029 · 07/05/2021 23:09

"I do love him"

What? This is a joke right? Because the woman who wrote all about that selfish, immature fuckwit couldn't possibly love someone like that. There is nothing to love here. If he's a good father to your child now, he will be when you leave him. Stop wasting your life.

RandomMess · 07/05/2021 23:09

Being an amazing father is parenting when it's needed not when it fits in with your schedule.

You would be full on with DS if you were getting all the sleep you needed and wanted!

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/05/2021 23:09

Relationships really aren’t hard work.

Being with someone so lazy and selfish must be very hard but it’s your choice to be with him.

If he was an “amazing dad” he’d be getting up with his child at least a couple of times a week so you got a lie in and weren’t exhausted. It’s not normal for one parent to have done every morning in 2 years when they live with the other parent.

If you split up he could still be an “amazing dad”, he’d have to do some of the early starts, he’d pay maintenance and you could meet someone decent - a proper grown up adult - who you might want to have a lot of sex with.

But the sex is a minor side issue as I’m sure you know. You need to raise your standards to healthy levels and break up with this loser. It’s your choice to put up with this. It isn’t normal and doesn’t have to be like this.