2.5 yr old very drawn to adults and more fearful of kids.. Normal?

[JC2021]

Hi All,

my boy is very bright, speaking well and started early. He seems very drawn to interacting with adults only and doesn't want to converse or go near/play with other kids his age..

He isn't at nursery yet and I wonder whether this has something to do with it..? Also lockdown, he hasn't been around other children much..

He doesn't have much interaction with other kids other than at the park or class.

Also seems to like adult attention already, e.g. wanting to talk to the teacher in his music class and often trying to get their direct attention, sometimes when they are interacting with other kids..?

Thanks in advance x

It sounds like he would really benefit from a preschool or nursery environment. Even just a couple of mornings a week would let him socialise with children his own age without you.

My 4 year old is the same and always has been. I think it’s because adults engage with what he’s talking about far better than his peers.

My son was exactly the same, especially at this age. It’s hard because you see other little ones jumping right in and you worry that your child can’t do that. The thing I found most helpful was to help him develop close relationships with other children - regular play dates with the same friends 1 to 1, or going to the same drop in every week so we’d meet the same children there. But by bit he got to feel comfortable with those children and many are still close friends now. My son is almost six now and still doesn’t throw himself straight into social situations but he has lots of lovely friendships and enjoys being with other children. I am sure yours will too. Mine still really likes adult conversation too and I personally think that’s nice. He has some really special relationships with adults and can really share his ideas. Wishing you good luck and am sure that all will come good

My little one is the same age, and a bit reserved around other little ones, I'm guessing that the covid world is all they've really known (distancing, bubbles, etc etc) so I think it will improve in time as life gets back to normal (ish)? I've seen a few other toddlers at parks and groups also being a bit shy or unsure.

Could he be on the autistic spectrum?

Totally normal IMO, especially given lockdown. My DS(13) used to cry hysterically if other toddlers even came near him. Actual sobbing. I was really worried about how he'd cope when he started playschool for a few mornings at around three years old - he adapted better than I thought, and it was probably the right thing for him.

He's a teenager now, and still converses very confidently with adults, while rolling his eyes at his parents and happily spending every waking hour gaming online with his mates (if we would let him), so all in all I would say a normal, well adjusted teen!

DS1 was an early talker and spoke really clearly from the outset. He much preferred talking to adults as a toddler as they responded better to what he was saying and he could have proper conversations with them. He'd often say that he couldn't understand what other toddlers were saying, if their speech was still a bit unclear.

He does have an ASD diagnosis, and his early and clear speech was seen as a marker, but only in conjunction with a lot of other issues.