Knew the end was coming but now it has its awful

[Felic23]

My partner has just ended things with me. I knew it was coming we've talked about it ending for months. He is a single parent as am I. We didn't blend properly for numerous reasons and our lives became more and more separate. I told him during many discussions about how we can move forward that I dont think it can work. He wanted is all to move in but I couldn't give up my council flat. Its a secure tenancy and was too much of a risk.
Now its over I am completely devesated. I was not expecting to feel like this at all.
He is lovely, kind funny man who loves/loved me and I love him but practically we couldn't make it work.
I'm so upset thinking did we try hard enough etc
What makes it worse it he seems fine. I really am struggling, my head is a mess and just can't stop feeling like crying all of the time. I'm confused as I knew this was coming and part of me wanted it as we were going no where but now it has I just feel sick. Not sure why I'm posting just need to let some of what I'm feeling out x

Sorry OP, that sounds hard. I hate those endings that happen for logistical or practical reasons - you know in your head it is right and logical, and you are doing the mature thing, but your heart/gut has different ideas.

It will get easier. Take care.

Why was it not possible to continue living in your own homes but still having a relationship with each other?

You were right not to give up your council flat by the way. It's important that people have stability and a secure place to live and that should always come above relationship considerations in my opinion.

Did it have to be now or never? Couldn't you of kept the relationship going until you felt more secure about leaving?

I'm so sorry, OP. It's always hard when a relationship ends, and especially in such a shit year.

It takes time to grieve a relationship, don't be hard on yourself for feeling bad and don't be afraid to reach out for help.

Are you sure he's not just putting a brave face on it?

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you but I don't blame you for not wanting to give up your security.

Oh, OP, I’m sorry. I recognise you from the step parenting board. I’m not surprised you’ve taken it hard. It will take some time, go easy on yourself. FWIW I also feel you were right not to give up secure accommodation. Although it’s no comfort. I know what.

I’m likely to be in your shoes down the line. As my family won’t blend with DP’s. And I don’t think he is truly happy with the traipsing beteeen houses. I know he is just not. And one of us is going to have to end it. And I know it will hurt like hell.

I know it’s not the done thing here but am sending a hug. And these:

Go easy on yourself.

Thanks so much for all your replies, it helps as I've not got anyone to really to talk to about it that doesn't just say ' you weren't happy so it was the right thing'
We tried to make it work without living together but I honestly couldn't, he wants someone to be park of his life and I work almost full time plus have two extra cleaning jobs on top of a house to run and a son in year 7. I dont know how you do it @LatentPhase. X

Sounds like you have a busy life and are exhausted - I think deep down you just want some 'me time' and concentrate on work and your child - its tough being a single parent juggling everything and sometimes there just isn't any fuel left for a partner at this stage in your life. Still hurts though - take time for you

breaking up is almost always difficult. Ive broken my heart devastated over breakups that I wanted and instigated. Its horrid. So many emotions, so many what-ifs.

It doesnt mean it was the wrong decision, it just means its shaken and unsettled you and you need to be gentle on yourself.
Youve got a lot on your plate. You were absolutely right to not risk your council tenancy and childs security for a man

@Branleuse I think its the what ifs that are the worst! What if I never find a man I love who loves me back. What if it was a mistake I should have tried harder. There are so many. I was fully aware we were going to end and never did anything to stop it. Like you say you were heart broken over relationships you've ended..its so confusing as you don't expect to feel that was and it throws up all sorts of anxieties and regret even..but then I'm not trying to reconcile so that should tell me something. I'm definitely grieving what was my best friend really x