XH contacting DC

[Pricklykaktus]

Hi, I’m wondering if anyone is able to point me in the right direction or give me some advice on how to handle this. My XH is coming to the end of his probation period, almost finishing his second half of prison sentence out in license. He has contacted our 15 year old DD’s school for progress report (turns out he didn’t inform his probation officer of this) and could quite legally request to be put back on parentmail as he still has “parental responsibility”. When he went to prison 4 years ago I took him to court to cancel a court order in place at the time which he had (needlessly) put in place to ensure contact and that I would drive the Dc’s halfway of the journey to see him (he had decided to move over 100 miles away). When I took him to court I did not have Legal representation, XH managed to persuade judge that there would be precautions in place on his release so that he would not be able to just contact the DC’s, also it was all so confusing at the time that I did not really understand what to ask the judge for, now I realise I should have requested his parental responsibility should have been taken away. I can’t afford to take him to court again. Can he ask the school for details of what his child is up to with regards to extra curricular activities? It’s occurred to me that he would then have knowledge of what other children are doing as well. Neither of my DC’s have any contact with him, my older one who is now over 18 has decided not to have anything to do with him.

Probably important to mention that he was charged with sexual assault on a minor (not our DCs) and I was told at the time he would be on the sex offenders register for life. We had been divorced for several years when this all happened. He has been controlling and manipulative since we split, even though he left me for another woman.
I never ever thought he was capable of any of this when I first met him, and did not even believe he did what he was accused of until he admitted it to the police.

Sorry for long post but if anyone has any knowledge / advice for the type of situation I would be very grateful.

Check with the family courts / socal services to see if he still does have PR for his childern. Its often taken away in cases where a child has been the victim .
If you think he could be a danger to your childern or to other childern then inform social services of this too.

If he has committed an offence against a minor then he shouldn't have unsupervised contact with any child, whether he us the father or not. Contact his Probation Officer.

I think that you should talk to his probation officer, school and social services.
In a court situation, a judge would listen to what a 15 year old wants in terms of contact so if the 15yo doesn't want to see him then they wouldn't be forced to. When my son was in Year 12, the school contacted ex (who's not been in prison) because they couldn't get hold of me (not an emergency situation) and ds asked them to delete his details from the computer and never contact him again which they abided by. I don't know if they acted correctly but they didn't confirm with me whether or not to do this.

@ForThePurposeOfTheTape that’s interesting, I’ve been told the school has a legal obligation to give the info to “parents of responsibility”, which is crazy. Surely what he’s done outweighs the whole responsibility thing. The lucky thing is that it’s not too long before DC is 16 and then I think the problem goes away. I haven’t even talked to them about this latest development as they’re doing their exams at the moment and I don’t want to de-rail them. So difficult. I just wish he’d stay away.

Taking away parental responsibility is never done lightly and so yes, as he still holds PR, he is entitled to information about your child. If your child was not the victim, I think it's unlikely any court would remove his PR unless he was harassing your child and it would be better for them if it was removed. If you can't take it to court, then sit back and do nothing. He will have to apply if he wants direct contact. Your child is old enough to express their own views about this.
Do you know his license conditions? Normally it would be no unsupervised contact with a child under 16 and therefore him obtaining school information wouldn't breach that but may be worth checking with probation if they will tell you.
Difficult situation for you. It may also be worth your child asking the school directly not to share any information with him. They may well take your child's age and maturity into account there and act accordingly.
(I work directly in the family courts)

My friend's dh went away for manslaughter.. Wouldn't even give his permission for the dc to change their surname. The judge wouldn't remove his PR...
I doubt any court order would be granted given your dd's age..
Block and delete op..
And forget he exists at all.

Thanks all for your replies, I think given my DC’s age I’ll just sit tight for now. DC is nearly 16 so will be able to have her say then. It’s crazy how many rights people have under law, I understand there have to be laws in place to protect people in all situations but it’s mad that someone still has PR when they’ve done what he’s done.