Feeling heartbroken

[Feelingsad101]

I am single and have mostly been single through out my life, I am 31. For sure the past 5 years I have had dates and a few flings. The flings all have one thing in common : they reject me and move straight on to something else . One guy said he didn’t want a relationship and then met another woman straight away and they are happy . Another said he was moving away, that was not true either.Seeing them happy is just so sad , because it is never me .

I know people get rejected , but I have never had a nice relationship. I seem to get passed over . The flings I have don’t take me seriously/ are rude or mean to me and one asked me for naked pictures. They seemingly go on to have lovely relationships. I am an in between girl and I always get compared to other women unfavourably . They just don’t care about my feelings at all .When I know this . I get out , but my self esteem takes a battering .

I just don’t know what to do anymore , I feel like no one will ever want a relationship with me . I’ve been trying to look at what I have done wrong ( too pushy / not push enough /not flirty enough /not attractive enough etc.).

What can I do ? Resign myself to being single? Any thoughts appreciated.

Sorry you feel like this OP. Really hard to give words of advice without really knowing more but in these circumstances I would recommend a man detox for at least six months. It sounds like you are not meeting good ones and have been a bit bruised by recent experiences. A bit of space where you channel your energies into something different might help rebuild your confidence and give you clarity on what you are prepared to accept in order to be in a relationship.

I was in the same position and what I did was worked on myself. I couldn’t control other people and their behaviour but I could work on my self esteem and confidence. There are so many self help books out there but a decent QUALIFIED counsellor may also be able to help, investment in YOU. You can not find happiness with another until you’ve found happiness in yourself. If you don’t see this as a huge wake up call to really find your inner champion patterns will repeat themselves. After working on myself I realised my boundaries were just dreadful and I totally ignored red flags. I’m married now but this work has empowered me in all areas! Good luck!

Don’t let other people’s opinions on you dictate the person you are. You need to find a way to build positive self image and consider yourself a prize and people that reject you are simply bonkers.

What’s great about you? What skills do you have? What’s your best feature? Then really work on those things and build from there. A husband/partner is meant to compliment you not complete you.

Are you really picky OP? Are these men the types that are very attractive and know it so can take his pick of women?

Maybe try a type that you’re not used to? Do you ever get approached? Or are you on OLD? What type of men do you normally attract?

Ahh OP, no. Dont think like this because it is just not true. There is someone for everyone!! You may be picking the wrong type...time and time again....and getting the same behaviour each time, just in a different body.

True what PP said about the really good looking guys....they mess about because they can....you know the type. Avoid them.

Keep trying! Apart from a lucky few, we are all "in between" girls...none of us are perfect and drop dead gorgeous 24/7. Means nothing.

It can feel so hard....like it's never gonna end....then someone pops up and makes it all ok. Keep going....and remember what a bad ass you truly are xx

I agree with @Ladybug123. I've also been in your position and yes flings can hurt.

I have taken some time out from dating and I can see that I was ignoring red flags and didn't have boundaries. Perhaps you are doing that too?

Next time round take things slowly and don't take any crap.