How do you deal with being rejected after sex?

[Hoodmonalisa]

How do you deal with being rejected after you have slept with someone? I went on a few dates with this man and slept with him on the third, and since then he has gone cold, doesn’t text me and only replies to mine when a question has been asked directly. I didn’t necessarily want a relationship and would have been happy with something more casual but he doesn’t seem to want that either and now I can’t help feeling that it must mean I’m really sh*t in bed or have something wrong with me sexually. The man in question is out of a fairly long term relationship so maybe it’s that, but I don’t know and I’m feeling really down about it.

This is horrible, OP. I'm sorry this has happened. It isn't going to make you feel good about yourself, is it?

We can't really know what's going on with him. It could be that he just wanted the chase and has got what he wanted, it could be that he's suddenly got the fear about being intimate and he has suddenly realised he's not ready. It could be anything really. I would not jump straight to 'I'm rubbish in bed'

He may not even tell you if you ask, so I would just bin this one off and move on. I know it hurts, though. It would be decent of him to at least explain, but sometimes this just happens.

Sending

I've had this happen to me in the past more than once actually. It really hurts doesn't it. One I waited a good while as well until I was sure he wasn't a player...prick 😣 turns out he wasn't all that truthful and was still pining after his ex so when she found out he'd started seeing someone else she came out of the woodwork to fuck with his head a little more, so I was dropped like a stone even though I was the best thing since sliced bread apparently.

The way I dealt with it was just to think it's not me it's them. Try and just move on but please don't beat yourself up over it.

Yeah, it's not going to he you. It's him.

And even if he thought you and he weren't sexualpy compatible that's all it is - you and he weren't sexually compatible. It doesn't mean you're shit.

If the sex was good cling to that fact.

Stop messaging him, match his level of interest and see what happens.

I doubt you were crap in bed, the main reason for lack of contact after sex is that the man just wanted sex, other reasons are as someone said above.
Don't torture yourself over him.

Plan something nice for the weekend and forget about him.
You are worth so much more.

It doesn’t mean you are bad in bed it could mean that he didn’t feel a strong sexual connection or that you’re aren't sexually compatible.

Don’t take it personally — even though I know that’s easier said than done.

Shit, this stings doesn't it... it's the worst because of course, you are left thinking "I'm shit in bed".

Here's a shocker for you. Most men are NOT that picky when it comes to sex. Not all men, granted, but a lot of them are just happy to get sex.... and unless it was absolutely horrendous and you bit his dick off or something, you can probably rest easy.

Its way more likely to be...he got sex from you and well, game over. Chase is over.... you're a dead cert. A lot of these pricks lose interest at that point and go on to trying to charm the next girl
It's a game for them, the thrill of the chase....

Hard not to take it personally but think back to the night, what was the sex like? Pretty good? Anything horrendously awful happen? No? Exactly

Lick your wounds, heal.

First of all it's better to decide what you want don't go along with whatever they do, if you have an idea relationship or casual before you start dating then stick to those boundaries, if relationship then you know to date and build friendship before you have sex, if casual then you don't get too emotionally invested.
Not knowing leaves confusion.
Don't blame yourself for him not wanting you, it could be he decided your not for him. The best way to get over rejection is to pick yourself up, get back out there and don't miss out on opportunities dont hold yourself back because of fear, there will be someone that really appreciates you.

Block & move on

Some people are just that way unfortunately. Men especially. It definitely does not mean you are bad at sex! They put in all this effort and all they ever wanted was a notch on their bed post. It's like people who travel somewhere for a long weekend, like New York. You ask whether they enjoyed it and if they'd go back and the answer is that they had loved it, but they've 'done' New York now so won't be going back.

So I guess you need to tell yourself it's them. Not you. And believe it!

I think the only answer to stop men using you for sex and then dumping you (and there are plenty who do that, it definitely isn't anything to do with you) is to hold out on sex. It's not a bullet proof plan but most will give up pretty quick if that's all they want. Make them work for it and if they're not prepared to then they're not worth it.

Maybe he's not out of a relationship and likes shagging different women on the side? What a jerk. Just think you used him and move on. Someone better will come along.

What a twat. He's probably trying to shag as many people as possible. Forget about him!