Possible mid life crisis at 31?

[MumOfOne90]

I’ll try to include as many details as possible but a lot has happened in the last 12 months!
12 months ago my life was so different from what it is now! I was in a loving relationship with my girlfriend, we lived together with our 2 children and split all bills equally, there really wasn’t any problems! In August she became controlling and obsessive regarding where I was and what I was doing which got worse over the next few months. Come October after trying to sort things and the situation getting worse I made the decision to leave with my daughter and move to my mums. I left all of our shared furniture and car and just took clothes/daughters toys. My mums house became over crowded with us there so we eventually moved to live with my dad and have been here since around February. We share a big double bedroom and it obviously isn’t ideal but I’m not in a financial position to afford £700+ rent pcm on my own and as I left with nothing I’ll be starting from nothing. It’s been 7 months since we split up and I feel like I’ve gone off the rails! On my child free nights I drink far too much, I’ve gone to work severely hungover more times in the last 6 months than in the last 5 years, I’ve had a ONS with a guy from work who I have to continue to work closely with, I’ve slept with my ex on and off for the last 3/4 months and I’ve recently got back in touch with an ex from 12 years ago who I’ve been sleeping with also. It gets worse ..... I’ve used no contraceptives when sleeping with the ex from 12 years ago and I really just don’t know why?! I’ve no explanation no reason to why I haven’t I’m so confused and my behaviours just so unstable! I feel like I’ve failed my daughter and I can’t provide a home for her. My life’s a mess but I seem determined to make it worse! The only positive thing in my life seems to be work which I’m excelling at despite the hangovers! Someone tell me how I right my wrongs please

You're going through a difficult period in your life, which us understandable given your situation. You need to pick yourself up and get to work. First and foremost, you need to work towards getting your own place, if you haven't got the money now you need to start saving every single penny.
Second of all Stop drinking! I'm assuming it's a coping mechanism for you, however, you're just setting yourself up for failure.
Instead, hit the gym and see how you start to feel like a completely different person.
Envision your life in a couple of years and ask yourself where you'd like to be, then work towards that. Your kids deserve a role model that they can look up to, Most importantly do it for yourself!

Sorry you're going through a tough time OP. It sounds like you would brenfit from therapy, speak to your GP or various mental health charities also offer quick help, which is often faster than the NHS.

Thankyou for your replies! I’ve actually lost around 2 stone but I’m assuming it’s from stress and not active weight loss! I’ve saved around £2000 and paid off both my credit cards in this time so that has helped but it’s just not enough! I’m on the council list for a council house but they’re all out of my support area which would really isolate me! I really agree on the therapy but it’s braving it to reach out for that and I don’t think I’m ready just yet! I’m hoping I look back in a few years and feel proud that I got us out of this situation and better that I got myself straight!

When you are under stress booze makes for a handy (but not helpful) coping mechanism. When I split up from the father of my kids, I decided to not go near booze for a few months because I had been on the kind of 'rampage' you describe when a best friend died 16 years beforehand with the aid of booze. I was punishing myself, are you doing that now? Unprotected sex is risky-are you not worth protecting? I should imagine that your daughter and parents would think you are worth it. I lost weight through stress during the separation but it put me in a great place to start running and take things out on a pavement instead. Gradually I got my appetite back. I wasn't a total saint by any means though. Giving yourself a couple of booze free months might give you the ability to get your head into a place where you could contemplate therapy/counsellor. It sounds like you are a driven person if works going well for you now. What about a course to keep you out of trouble/get an even better job so you can get your own place? You are doing really well though. We all have times when we come off the rails, those rails might be different for different people, if you get my drift. Your going off the rails seems to still consist of making sure your daughter and job are okay. Time for you to make sure you're okay too now.