NC father in hospital

[MrsPerfect12]

I've just been informed that my father that I have been NC with for 12 years has had a stroke and is in hospital.
I'm at a loss at what to do.
He is a nasty, bitter, bully that put me down my whole childhood and it's taken years to sort and believe in my self worth.
My mum who is low contact with him( still feels duty bound) told me. I'm going to see her tonight to find out all the details.
I've got no desire to see him but I'll be judged I know.
Those who have went no contact with parents how/did you get through this type or scenario?

I have been nc with df for over 20 years.. No phone call from anyone will change that..
As above for dm also..
Both bloody awful..

I'm in the same situation now. I don't want to see him or know what's going on. The only difference is that my mum & dad don't speak & my mum rightfully loathes him.
Part of me feels like a bitch but the rest of me swiftly gets rid of that after everything that's happened and the level of betrayal.. nope. I don't want anything to do with it.
It doesn't feel a nice situation though does it OP, that you've been hurt so badly that we don't want to know what's going on with our own father's..
I don't have any advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Who will judge you?

You made a decision and not without good reason and people in the family get your decision.

I'd only go if you have something to say to him

I don't think you should speak about him with your mum, personally. It just gives her fuel to question your decisions. You already know he's in the hospital, there's nothing else to talk about.

What Aquamarine wrote here. And who would judge you anyway?. Those that mind do not matter and those that matter do not mind.

I was going to clarify with my mum what's happened and how bad things are - they may not be. I'm worried that my mum will be guilted into helping/caring as she is not fit for it. I feel bad for hoping the hospital are still not allowing visitors.

I know I shouldn't feel judged but I do, I probably won't tell my friends although my close friends would be supportive. Is just weird, I don't want to be thinking about it but I am.
I spent a long time grieving for the father I didn't have and I'm sure those in my situ will understand this perfectly.

I have a relative who is NC with her mother, in fact no one from our very small family has seen her for years due to her historically bad behaviour.
I believe she’s now blind and in a home, but no one has any intention of visiting her.

It is strange for you because we are conditioned to think that we should love our parents.

Do try not to worry about those people who just don't understand. Have a proper think about it and if you decide that you definitely don't want to see him then don't. And perhaps think carefully before telling any friends if you don't think they would understand and after all, you have been NC for 12 years, is there any reason to talk about him at all?

He was a nasty, bitter, bully who ruined your childhood. Even if by some miracle he is suddenly a nice person now, who cares? It's too late.

Look after yourself.

@Chamomileteaplease
My mum sees him occasionally, he hasn't changed at all. Why she bothers is beyond me but he has no one else so she feels obliged. All of his relatives are NC.

Some comforting thoughts here:

thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/when-theres-no-hollywood-ending-how-do-i-grieve-the-dying-when-i-am-estranged-from-family/